“Hello and welcome to the metropolitan Texas Hold ‘em tournament. With massive budget deficits and crumbling infrastructure across the board, I don’t really see how the pot can grow too large tonight. What do you think Bob?”

“Well, Ted, I agree. We’re not going to see any windfalls. But I am interested in how Philadelphia will play this hand. People have written Philadelphia off before, but she’s scrappy. Let’s see what she’s got.”

“Philadelphia’s hand doesn’t look pretty, Bob. She’s been dealt ‘a struggling transit system‘ and ‘a sub-par casino plan‘. But she might as well ante in, see what’s in the flop.”

“Couldn’t agree more, Ted. Couldn’t agree more.”

“The first card, ‘inept politicians’, surely isn’t helping the situation. Oh, and the second card is even worse. It’s ‘a lack of sound city planning by the city government!’ I don’t see how Philadelphia can make anything out of this hand so far. The ‘lack of sound city planning’ card really doesn’t complement the ’sub-par casino plan’ card at all.

“No, Philadelphia needs lady luck to fix this hand.”

“But the third card in the flop could be a good sign. ‘Help from Harrisburg’ always seems to lend a hand, no matter how bad it gets.”

“I’ve seen Philadelphia use that card to her advantage before. This is a good sign for her.”

“Luckily, the turn is checked around. She can stay in and see what the turn card has to offer. And the turn card is flipped, and–WOW! Does that card ever reverse Philadelphia’s fortunes!”

“It’s a ‘problem combination’ card, Ted! Man, did Philadelphia get lucky tonight.”

“I can see what Philadelphia is thinking, Bob. Combine the ’struggling transit system’ and ’sub-par casino plan.’ Then pair that with ‘Help from Harrisburg.”

“But then she has to pray for a ‘creativity’ card. And we’ve only got the river card left, Ted.”

“Yes, it certainly is a gamble, Bob. But here’s the river card, and amazingly, Philadelphia gets her ‘creativity’ card! I’ve never seen anything like this Bob!”

“Now at the showdown, Philadelphia explains just how she’ll use these cards. With the ‘problem combination’ and ‘Help from Harrisburg,’ Philadelphia can legalize gambling on SEPTA. And using ‘creativity,’ she can fill her appetite for gambling on SEPTA, increasing ridership and plugging the funding gap.”

“It’s brilliant, Bob. This game is one for the centuries!”

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