The blue seats of the Penn Bus will bring out your eyes (Penn Transit)

I have 898-WALK on speed dial. That’s how paranoid I am. Given this paranoia, it’s interesting that I almost never use its somewhat frumpier corollary, 898-RIDE . But, last weekend, when temperatures plummeted below freezing and the streets turned to frozen seas of mush, I put the service to the test. At 2:30 AM, I gave the operator a ring and requested a ride from Chestnut Hall on 39th and Chestnut to the lower Quad.

Service refused. Due to the treacherous six block trek through the snow awaited, I protested. Sorry, no exceptions. Penn Transit would not give rides from one on-campus location to another.

Now don’t get me wrong. 898-RIDE shouldn’t be the lazy alternative to 898-WALK. Have a little respect for the environment and your waistline. However, when it’s bitterly cold outside and you’re forced to take the 6-block hike from 34th to 40th streets, it’s nice to know that someone’s got your back.

You might say the rule cracks down on abusers of the system. Yet a three block ride from on-campus to off-campus is, in theory, permitted. A six block on-campus ride is not.

However, where 898-RIDE fails, there are other Penn Transit options. While 898-WALK and 898-RIDE have been the mantras of Penn’s Division of Public Safety, alternative transit options haven’t enjoyed much publicity in the past.

Imagine you’re stranded on the corner of 20th and Locust. You have no cash and two loaded bags of groceries with you. If you have your PennCard, you can board the Penn Bus (along with two guests) and hitch a free ride back to campus. Even better, the Penn Bus will let you off at any stop sign or traffic light along its regular route.

Eco-friendly issues aside, it’s a great deal.
Or ditch Penn Transit entirely and take the LUCY . With your PennCard, you enjoy free rides along a route running from 30th Street Station past 40th street. For those longer journeys, try PhillyCarShare . And remember, when worst comes to worst, there’s nothing like SEPTA.

The writer working on her thesis

I don’t know about you, but flying cross-country isn’t my favorite way to spend an afternoon. Squealing babies, the persistent hum of rumbling engines and, my favorite part — a bathroom the size and smell of a single in the Quad. But you can’t exactly walk from Philly to San Francisco, and anyway, I was excited about my destination.

Armed with a pile of articles and my laptop, I figured that I’d make the best of the six-hour flight. Surely, it would be the perfect place to add some final touches to the good ole’ thesis. And for once, there would be neither Internet nor instant messages to distract me.

Suddenly, the man in front of me decided that he needed additional space, and I watched in horror as his seat tumbled towards me. My laptop was instantly wedged into a perfect 75-degree angle (yes, I carry a protractor on every cross-country flight). In order to even see the computer screen, I had to pull my tray-table as far out as possible, with the keyboard digging into my lower abdomen. Now that’s a comfortable writing environment, a way to beckon the muses and feel the juices flow.

But that’s not the point. When traveling by plane, people need to have some better etiquette and respect for others. Is it really necessary to recline your seat as far backwards as possible? Trust me, the seats don’t get anymore comfortable no matter how you bend them. Anyway, sitting in an upright position is much better for your back, posture and overall physical health.

Airlines should seriously consider disabling the reclining feature on their seatbacks. Because let’s face it, not everyone is lucky enough to sit in an exit row, and passengers would be much happier with some additional room to breathe.

Though traveling is a privilege, we must maintain our rights to privacy and personal space. Clearly, an airplane flight is not the ideal time and place to find a stranger’s head in your lap.

Bartender at Senor Frogs.

Ernesto is the bartender at Senor Frogs in Cancun. He pours thousands of beers a night for the crowds of American students intent on making the most of their open bar wristbands. To me, it seems a thankless job. Ernesto receives what he calls a “normal wage” but he is at the mercy of a bar full of drunken kids, all shouting at him, waving dollar bills in his face, demanding more alcohol. To Ernesto, this is a fine living — he likes his job.

It’s all about the tips, you see. Tips are the unwritten rule of the Cancun nightlife. When 500 people are lined up at the bar, the only way to decide who to serve is who’s the most generous. Slip Ernesto $5. You’ll be first every time.

“Tips” he shouts at the army of alcoholics, banging his fist on the small brown tips box on the bar. Not everyone obliges — a significant number just wait around until there’s an opening. But those who add weight to the box provide Ernesto with his major source of income. A few guys pull out 50 peso notes ($5) and drop them in the box. They instantly have more beers than they can carry. You Ernesto’s back, he’ll scratch yours.

But it’s not just the bartenders who benefit from Spring Break. Many hotels charge a ‘convenience fee’ for bringing a “guests” upstairs after a night out. These fees range from 100-500 pesos ($10-$50) depending on how accommodating the hotel security guards are feeling. Haggling can normally bring about an amicable conclusion to the evening.

My security guy didn’t want to give his real name but agreed to being called George (he liked the name). George loves his job because of all the “boom-boom” and the “nice ladies” (which led me to wonder how much of the “ladies” he saw and whether he might be secretly watching any amorous adventures taking place in the hotel). George gets good tips, sees some funny sights, and he goes home with stories to tell his friends. “Spring Break is fun” George repeated, “lots of people, lots of boom-boom”. He liked his boom-boom.

Spring Break is, as I commented in Part I, a messy, alcohol-fuelled week of hedonism. And many see it as an unnecessary invasion of Latin-America by the cash-flashing collegiate population of the US. But Ernesto and George both see it differently. For them it’s an opportunity. Like vultures, they swoop down on the rich pickings that come, fresh from the airport, bearing bulging wallets and a hunger for the outrageous.

Even a female dancer in the Bulldog Club seemed content with the setup when I spoke to her outside on the street. “Do I like being a dancer during Spring Break? Yes, of course. I make people happy.”

Happy Birthday to me! That’s right, your favorite blogger turned 19 over spring break. And unlike our English chap, James, I relaxed at home for spring break. This means I enjoyed breakfast-in-bed (a Brickley tradition), presents (underwear and socks), and a Detroit Red Wings hockey game (a win over the Nashville Predators).

My mom commented to me that it was becoming “increasingly difficult” to lavish me with presents. I feel sorry for the woman, so, as a service to her, and all the other parents, I’ve compiled a list of the best and worst birthday presents a Penn student can receive. And because I won’t be home for my birthday next year, the presents are mail-able.

The Best

• Gift Certificates: Qdoba, Quiznos, Gap, Chili’s, and CVS are all national chains located very close to Penn’s campus. Barnes and Nobles gift certificates can be used at the Penn bookstore. Amazon.com or other online retailers are welcome as well.




• Tickets: Depending on the time of year, seeing a Philles, 76ers, Eagles, or Flyers game would be great fun. Likewise the same stadiums often host musical concerts (Justin Timberlake is coming, omg!!). Tickets for all of these can be bought online through Comcast TIX and mailed directly to your student.




• The Theater: While Penn’s campus certainly has its share of quality theater, making the trek to Center City for a night at the theater would be a fine birthday event. This requires a little more research on the givers behalf, but if your student likes drama, you can find it at the Prince Music Theater, the Walnut Theater, or these other locations.

Dan of Detroit dreams of foreign cars — Shhh…don’t tell. (www.bmwusa.com)

The Worst

Editor’s Note: If the DP’s a family 34th Street is the hipster older brother — smart, sometimes silly, and certainly edgy. We at The Spin look up to our snarky older brother and so, we are proud to present you with the new Street blog, StreetEats. TaDa! Here’s the first post (the writing may look familiar):

Anyone who knows Philly will tell you that there’s so much more than Pat’s and Gino’s when you’re hungry. We agree wholeheartedly, and that’s why we’ve decided to start StreetEats, 34th Street’s new food blog. In class, on Locust Walk, downtown, at home, and pretty much everywhere in between, I overhear conversations about food. Whether it’s someone raving about a new restaurant or complaining about poor service, the Penn community is on top of our game in terms of recognizing changes in Philadelphia’s dining scene. This blog isn’t going to be written by us — it will hopefully be written by you! We want anyone and everyone with access to a computer to submit their thoughts, opinions, secrets, and any other information about that perfectly ripe tomato you bought from Fresh Grocer to the slightly overcooked escargot at Le-Bec-Fin. We want it all here.

For more StreetEats, click here. Enjoy, and goodluck Street!

James Baker speaks to journalists during a media breakfast meeting in Dubai, on Sunday. Baker is visiting Dubai as a senior partner of international law firm ” Baker Botts” which has opened an office in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. (AP Photo/Nousha Salimi).

When the University announced James Baker III as its choice for this year’s commencement, some cheered for a political bigwig, a few groaned in dismay, and still others wondered who he was and why people were creating such a stir. I wasn’t thrilled about the choice.

What I find important to note about Baker doesn’t center on alleged anti-Semitic remarks or anti-Israel positions. Rather, I’m much more concerned about his shady dealings in the Middle East with countries like Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.

A little background on Baker: He’s a former Secretary of State under President George W.H. Bush, the cochair of the Iraq Study Group, the current Special Presidential Envoy on Iraqi debt, and a senior partner at Baker Botts, a prestigious Houston law firm.

So what’s the problem? A little conflict of interest, that’s all. Baker’s job as presidential envoy is to persuade countries to forgive Iraqi debt. Unfortunately, he’s also working on the other side of the fence, for the merchant bank and defense contractor the Carlyle Group, of which Baker is senior counselor and an equity partner. According to The Nation, in October 2004, secret documents obtained by that magazine revealed that the Carlyle Group struck a deal with the Kuwaiti government that would transfer $57 billion dollars in unpaid Iraqi debt from the Kuwaitis to a foundation run by a consortium, of which The Carlyle Group would be a member. In exchange, the consortium would work to persuade world leaders that Iraq should “maximize” its debt to Kuwait , which would then get the money after 10-15 years. And of course, the consortium would make a handsome profit in commission from this deal.

This conflict of interest is no small matter: Baker’s position in the Carlyle Group directly contradicts his role in the U.S. government. Baker should be dissuading countries from increasing Iraqi debt, not doing the very opposite.

Another issue that I find unsettling is Baker’s role as senior partner of Baker Botts. The firm appears to have some questionable clients. For instance, in 2002, families of 9/11 victims sued Saudi Arabian princes. The princes, the Saudi defense minister, Prince Sultan bin Abdulaziz
Al-Saud, and his brother, Prince Salman bin Abdulaziz Al-Saud, the governor of Riyadh, ultimately chose Baker Botts to defend them in the lawsuit.

The fact that Baker’s firm chose to represent Saudi interests, instead of American ones, is unnerving. Moreover, according to an April 2003 Newsweek article, Baker Botts lawyers openly admitted during the course of the trial that the Saudis have authorized regular payments of about $266,000 a year (for the past 16 years) to the International Islamic Relief Organization, a charity that U.S. federal agents raided because they suspected it was associated with giving funds to terrorist groups.

Yesterday’s DP editorial praised the University’s selection of James Baker III as commencement speaker, stating that “Baker is not just a big name — but a timely one as well.” This reasoning is flawed — could we not have selected a different big and timely name without such murky credentials attached?

There are many valid criticisms of Baker, but these associations with groups working against American interests seem to be the most troubling. He will undoubtedly serve as an inspiration to graduates who want to accede to public service, but I hope that they’ll take his good qualities, and leave his sketchy accolades aside.

Who ya gonna call? Mythbusters!

Surely you must have stumbled across the strange TV show Mythbusters in which two pyromaniacs of indeterminate sexual orientation put famous urban legends to the test and blow them to smithereens if at all possible. I caught a glimpse of it on The Discovery Channel, before the documentary on teenage conjoined twins getting their drivers license(s) and after a documentary titled “I eat 33,000 calories a day” starring people so fat that they make Louie Anderson look like Calista Flockhart (and make Calista Flockhart look like Amy Gutmann — jk Dr. G I <3 u lolz!).

Today I shall inaugurate my own Mythbusters: Penn Edition, and, though I lack the budget, mincing mannerisms, and unsettling handlebar mustaches of the original Mythbusters, I am confident I will get Penn on TLC (or at least the Animal Planet channel).

Today’s myth — Wharton students are good at math — gets put to the test in Wednesday’s DP article reporting on controversy surrounding the selection of James Baker as commencement speaker. A Wharton senior is quoted at saying “this school is liberal,” and by picking a Republican, “immediately, you are pissing off half the student body.”

Let’s back up the tape and see how this puts to rest the notion that Whartonites are quantitative demigods:

• If “half the student body” is pissed off, then you still have the other 50 percent which is not pissed off (and either way is 49 percent more non-pissed off people than Jodie Foster)




• Wait, the student body is only half liberal?




• “My initial reaction was…who is James Baker?” Okay this has nothing to do with math, but it’s still sad.

Goldman Sachs is surely tripping over itself to get to this guy.

James Baker’s greatest sin is not that he may have been insensitive to our only ally in the Middle East. I’d consider Kofi Annan’s fecklessness, incompetence, and corruption to be more worthy of protest. No, Baker’s unforgivable crime against humanity is that he went to Princeton (though that would go a long way towards explaining his love affair with Jews). I’d protest that.

Steve Wood (Temple News)

These days, it’s not uncommon to read about professional (read: paid) journalists who risk their lives for a story. In the world of collegiate journalism, the stakes are usually a bit lower. (Of course, there is a chance of being mugged at gunpoint in broad daylight after venturing into Northern Liberties for a story–but honestly, we all know you don’t need to be a reporter to get mugged in Philly.) Let’s face it, the life of the average DP staffer isn’t very dangerous.

However, it looks like one student journalist over at Temple is making some headlines. Last week, senior Steve Wood, features editor of the Temple News, went above and beyond the call of duty. In the name of journalism, he decided to spend his final spring break living among the homeless on the streets of Philly. Equipped with only $10, a tape recorder, and a few other survival essentials (such as a copy of Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, as well as a can of pepper spray and a blue baby blanket, which were “parting gifts” from his parents), Wood set out “to put a face to the homeless,” as he explained to Inquirer reporter Melissa Dribben.

I have to admit, Wood deserves a lot of credit for his efforts. But was it really worth it?

First of all, you have to realize that while many of you were basking in tropical climates last week, Philly definitely wasn’t enjoying the same spring-like temperatures we’ve been having the past several days. In fact, a week ago, around the same time that I’m writing this post, I was inching down my icy driveway in the Philly suburbs to clean the snow off my car.

But what’s a little hypothermia, when the good name of journalism is at stake, right? After all, Wood’s first piece chronicling his week’s adventures, which came out on Tuesday, was pretty interesting.

Especially the part about the woman shouting, “That motherfucker is going to jail! Look, that fucker slit my neck,” as she revealed “bloody hands and a gash on her throat.” Good thing Wood had that can of pepper spray.

So was it worth it? Let’s just hope Wood’s documentary serves as more than just a showcase of Philly’s underbelly.

In an email to the New York Times, Coulter wrote “C’mon, it was a joke. I would never insult gays by suggesting that they are like John Edwards. That would be mean.” (CNN)

A Yale Law graduate with no job offers. Racist, sexist, homophobic messages. Concerned statements from the Deans of Yale and Penn Law. All the makings of another Penn scandal, but this one ends in a twist.

Anthony Ciolli, a third year Penn Law student, cofounded a law school admissions message board called AutoAdmit, that has drawn controversy for offensive posts and photos. In response, Ciolli packed his box like he’d heeded Beyonce’s request, and resigned. No fanfare, no press statements, just a quiet move to step down.

Recent scandals have exposed the need for just this kind of response to controversy.
Increasingly, those in the hot seat assert tepid and unconvincing defenses to impropriety.

Take, for example, the latest college sports scandal. Last week, USC football players came under fire for creating the Facebook group “White Nation,” complete with a picture of a black baby in handcuffs. The group, which allegedly springs from an inside joke, came under harsh criticism by some USC students. The players responsible offered that while their public display showed poor judgment, they were not racist — after all, one of the team members had a black roommate.

No kidding.

Celebrities are even more disconcerting. Ann Coulter shocked liberals and conservatives alike with her homophobic slur directed at John Edwards. To respond, she dusted off a “hail mary” offensive play in posting the speech on her website, where she notes her amusement over the controversy. Other famous figures flipped to the “Defense” section in their play books, sending their best linebackers to downplay media coverage (Paris Hilton’s alleged racist slur? Hiding under the guise of overexposure, she escaped mass media coverage of the incident). And finally, Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, read the defense well. After his inflammatory comments in a newspaper, he called an audible, quickly issuing an apology.

None of these defenses achieves a satisfactory remedy. In resigning, Ciolli bucked the trend of his contemporaries. His stepping down was a clear and severe measure, using the power of action to rectify the power of the posted words. Kudos to him. Maybe others will be bold enough to copy his playbook.

You know what they say about red heads… (NYTimes)

Tragedy struck for this news junkie on September 19, 2005. That sad day, the illustrious New York Times decided to join the pack of big-shot old media establishments in trying to make money off its website: Times Select was born.

The work of the seven regular op-ed columnists plus many of the best Times features were just beyond my grasp. What a tease, the headlines and first paragraphs were visible, but then, just as the I could taste the bliss born of good writing, the columns were stolen away. Particularly painful was to me was the forced separation from the indomitable goddess of columnizing Maureen Dowd who gave me hope that, if written well, cynical snarkiness could make it beyond charges of insubordination and spell genuine success (in Pulitzer form).

But alas, The Times has sobered up and made Times Select content available to anybody with a .edu email address.

Goodbye homework, I’m hooked.