BeatNick

Hallcest, as Urban Dictionary defines it, is “having intimate relations with a person residing in the same hall of your dorm, apartment, etc.” The word derives from “incest,” although armchair etymologists will point out that “incest” actually comes from the Latin for “un-chaste.” So “hallcest” literally means “hall-chaste,” which is the opposite of its intended definition.

Word history aside, the act of hallcest is typically frowned upon, as is illustrated by the following example:

Person 1: “Hey, Molly is really hot.”
Person 2: “No way man, she’s only three doors down. That’s like hallcest.”

But wait a minute. Any Psych 1 student worth his weight in Gestalt knows that proximity is the primary factor in attraction. A girl is much more likely to date the guy in her corridor than the dude downstairs. It’s like evolution or something.

See? It’s natural.

So why is it that hallcest, a totally natural and predictable human behavior, is so vilified in college?

The answer is jealousy. I don’t know much about Nashian game theory, but I did see A Beautiful Mind, so I feel like an expert. When two people in a hall hook up, the rest of the hall gets jealous. That jealousy creates tension, awkwardness, and even hatred. It’s way better for the group that no one hooks up with each other.

Could it be that something similar is going on with incest? Evolution nuts will tell you that people aren’t incestuous because incest-babies are usually hideous freakmonsters. But maybe people simply aren’t incestuous because of the jealousy–and tension–that screwing their hot brother or sister would create.

Maybe it’s not the fear of castration (like Freud thought) but the fear of being ostracized by the group that stops you from hooking up with your sibling, your hallmate, or whatever proximal hot person you have in mind. The amount of pressure exerted by the group depends on its strength - families are close-knit and powerful, while halls, comparatively weak. That’s why almost no one hooks up with their sibling…

…and almost everyone hooks up with a hallmate.

BeatNick appears every Monday and Thursday.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 4th, 2007 at 10:49 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.