Let me just say, you have fantastic taste, or time management skills, or both.

I know what time of year it is. The week before fall break is full of midterms. Yet, you took time out of your busy studying schedule to browse our fine publication. Bravo, you’re finally getting the hang of balancing schoolwork with other, more important things.

In return, I’ll do you a favor. While many upscale stores surround our construction-ridden campus, you may not have had the chance to check out what each is currently offering. Tell you what, I’ll do it for you.

First, the new Eastern Mountain Sports. If you’re confused because you thought we already had an EMS, that’s because we did. They moved two blocks to 34th and Chestnut, but who am I to say they can’t have a grand opening sale? In any case, if you’re not sure what they have at EMS, this window ad might help you out:

I’m sure you’ve noticed that when you’re skinny dipping in a clear mountain lake, your ears can get really cold. Well, friend, you need not go unprepared any longer. Step into EMS and you too can accessorize your bare skin with this stylish women’s Cuzco Peruvian hat.

EMS.

P.S. When it comes to bikes, I’m much more inclined to trust the lovable anarchists over at Firehouse Bicycles.

Next, American Apparel over at 37th and Walnut needs your help in the final stage of the “very big, but very exciting” undertaking of developing a new unisex jean line:

American Apparel.

I’ve never really felt the desire for a pair of jeans that a girl could also look good wearing, but I must be missing the point. In any case, judging by the shorts and scarf their male mannequin is wearing, I’m not sure I trust their definition of “unisex:”

In other news, Cereality is still holding out on the “Just Kidding!” banner.

Cereality.

Finally, whether you’ve been looking at the Philadelphia skyline, the shirts at Trader Joe’s, the LOVE Park Fountain, or the window at the bookstore, you’ve been seeing a lot of the color pink. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and local businesses are quick to capitalize…err, sympathize. Check out Douglas Cosmetics:

Douglas Cosmetics.

Good news for Penn students: You can solve the world’s problems by buying more things. And if you’re a real crusader, they’ll throw in a free gift. Altruism never smelled so good.

So, now that I’ve done the browsing for you, you can head out, buy what you need right away, and return to your textbooks’ loving embrace.

No need to thank me.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 8th, 2007 at 11:57 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.