We’ve all done it. Maybe you didn’t want to go to class, legitimately felt ill, or really, really needed an extra day to hand in that 10-page paper. There is no doubt that all of us have written that obligatory e-mail to a professor to get out of class at some point in our college lives. (Unless of course, you’re like that kid I went to high school with who never missed a day of school since kindergarten. All he got at graduation was a cheesy certificate. I’m sure it was totally redeeming!)

Most of us are discreet with our excuse notes, but for this unfortunate Princeton toolbox, his sick-letter got sent out to his entire CHE 341 class. According to Ivygate, the e-mail went as follows:

“Hello. I am e-mailing regarding the fact that I am unable to turn in the homework on time today, due to the fact that I had been plagued with illness since Sunday. I do not know exactly the cause, but the symptoms were extreme diarrhea and headache. If I attach a note from McCosh, will it be possible for me to turn in the homework by class this Friday? I am so sorry for this problem.

Yours,
[redacted]“

Ouch. I hope none of my Penn peers would do such a thing. But, just in case, I thought a few sick-note pointers might come in handy.

1. Keep the details to a minimum. The professor does not need to know that you had the runs all night or how you contracted that nasty rash.
2. Let the professor know how you are going to make up for the horrible transgression of missing class. For example, state that you’ll e-mail your assignment as soon as “you’re feeling better.”
3. Take heed to the infamous “Reply All” button. Little Miss Wharton Works-A-Lot doesn’t need to know you’re sick, especially when she sees you at Pottruck later.
4. And lastly when e-mailing your professor, don’t ever do something like this.

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