The Spin

EUROPE IS DYING

Adam Goodman

EUROPE IS DYING: Rick Santorum speaks at Penn

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Rick Santorum warns Penn that “EUROPE IS DYING.”
Richard Liebowitz/DP


Mike’s right. It was great to see Rick Santorum.

But how many times does Santorum have to tell you people?! Europe. Is. Dying. It is dying and you are letting it die.

Will we have Europe behind us??? No, we will not have Europe behind us you socialist, Ivy League, Islamo-Fascist-loving idiots. Who the hell are you with that question?

HAH, Europe behind us! Europe could disappear at any second … Bruce Bawer said so! You’ve never heard of Bruce Bawer? This man’s last name is ONE letter away from being “Bauer.” As in, Jack Bauer. Do not question him or he will kick your ass to the rhythm of the “Final Countdown.”

The former senator/messiah came to Penn yesterday to warn us that the Muslims are multiplying at alarming rates and gradually implementing their plan to make Europe disappear with the black magic that they teach in the terror cells.

You need more proof? Mohamed is the MOST popular boys name is Belgium. Actually, Noah is – Mohamed’s tenth – but who cares about needless facts. Everyone knows facts are an evil communist tool used to obstruct the truth and promote moral relativism. Tenth is bad enough. The idea of giving children loaded Biblical names like, say … Jacob … or Christopher … is dangerous liberal lunacy. Or Daniel or Sarah or Peter. I mean you might as well … oh … damn.

Forget that. Have we honestly already forgotten that people named Mohamed grow bombs out of their heads?

Thank God, Rick Santorum has figured out their plan to conquer Belgium. You see, this army of people-bombs is going to take over the Hague … and … and … arbitrate international disputes! They will then determine their decisions based on what will best cause Europe to disappear.

“The question is what will we do?”

Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan. We must kidnap the baby Mohameds and rename them all Kyle before their names poison their minds and transform their heads into bombs. This is America’s finest hour! Who’s with me?

7 Responses to “EUROPE IS DYING”

  1. Morgan Hennessy Says:

    Oh. My. God. Clearly Europe is dying. Who cares what’s across the ocean? It’s not like any of us came from Europe to begin with. We all arose spontaneously from the pure soil of America! YEE HAW! The European Union? What a joke!!! It’s not like the Euro is worth much… only 1.4 USD.

  2. Dan Brickley Says:

    This clip is ridiculous. I can’t believe a former politician would say something like this. That’s Santorum for you…

  3. George Carlin Says:

    I’ll bet you ten times out of ten, Nicky, Vinnie, and Tony would beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle, and Tucker.

  4. Collin Beck Says:

    My guess is that the discrepancy over the names is that he’s saying Mohamed and you’re spelling it. In other words, Noah maybe be more popular than Mohamed, but the sum of Mohamed, Muhammad, Mohammed, etc. is more than that of Noah.

  5. Adam Goodman Says:

    If you look at the link on the name “Noah” that doesn’t seem likely. “Mohamed” is the only spelling of the name within the top 100 for most popular names for boys in Belgium.

    -Adam

  6. Brad Garrett Says:

    Hi…Thanks for the nice read, keep up the interesting posts..what a nice Sunday

  7. The Spin » Blog Archive » Strut it, Mohammad Says:

    […] of the Muslim Student’s Association had it out with Bill O’Reilly, Santorum once again humiliated himself despite repeated attempts to sound like a legitimate politician, and we all were reminded […]

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