OK, I was wrong. The Werner Herzog thing didn’t need more advertising. I was expecting a dozen or so awkward attendees hovering around a barely touched smörgåsbord of baby carrots and cucumber sandwiches. Instead, the auditorium was completely overcrowded and at least 100 people were turned away. The event should have been held in Irvine. So I was right about the Cinema Studies department screwing up, just wrong about why. On the upside, Werner didn’t get shot this time:
Also, on the upside, I shoved my way in and got a firsthand account.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP
Meyerson B1 was indeed a veritable shitshow of Herzog fanboys and girls. The poseurs took one look at the packed auditorium and peaced. Those willing to sit in the aisles were soon escorted outside by police officers.
Seriously. Someone called the cops. With my skills in pig avoidance, I was able to keep my seat on the floor. Almost everyone else was escorted out, the cops left, and the show began. About a half hour late.
Was it worth it? Hell yeah. Werner is articulate and German, so when he talks he sounds like a genius and a badass. Take for his example his feelings about storyboards: “Zhey are zuh instruments of cowards with no fantasy.” Or his advice to five and six-year olds: “Zhey should stop playing video games and go outside and dig a hole in zuh ground.”
Werner had advice for undergrads too: Pay for your tuition by working as a bouncer at a strip club. Take up boxing, or maybe volleyball. Read. Walk.
His thoughts on academia? “Zose people who vivisect literature and talk about post-structuralism will make you never want to read a poem again. Zhey should be abolished.”
As for the purported topic of conversation, “Was the 20th Century a Mistake,” I’m not exactly sure what the conclusion was. All I know is it had something to do with Anna Nicole Smith, Wrestlemania, whale and tree-hugging, and abandoned spaghettis. So yeah, if you missed it, you missed a lot.
*EDITOR’S NOTE: This post has received further editing since when it was published.
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October 25th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Since when does the DP allow swear words in posts? Serious journalists shouldn’t have to resort to swearing to get their point across — it just turns the reader off.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Nicholas,
Thank you very much for this refreshing piece of writing. You’re an asshole motherfucker who has made my trip to this piece of shit school not a complete waste of my time.
Das liebe und freuden,
Werner
October 25th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Hello!
How are you?
October 26th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Werner, your English is much better than your German, “Das liebe und Freuden”, wtf, or was soll daß heißen???