According to the Huffington Post this week, Ivy League faculty are donating more campaign dollars to the Democratic candidates than the Republicans by an overwhelming margin.
I argue there is a fundamental question we in Ivy League are forgetting to ask:
WWCND – What would Chuck Norris do?
According to CNN.com, Chuck Norris, actor and all-around god to college students everywhere, has not only openly endorsed Arkansas Republican Mike Huckabee, but now he’s helping to solicit campaign contributions.
In response, rumor has it Penn Democrats plan to endorse former CTU agent Jack Bauer as their choice to run as the party’s vice presidential candidate to whoever wins the nomination.
Penn’s College Republicans have released the following list of reasons Norris resonates so well with Penn students.
- Nothing cures a hangover faster than a swift round-house kick to the face.
- Only 20% of Wharton students got caught cheating in OPIM 101 because Chuck Norris didn’t have time to grade the other 80% of the exams.
- The Button has a crack in it because Chuck Norris prefers zippers.
- Harvard and Princeton abandoned their early decision programs because Chuck Norris doesn’t like to be rushed.
- Chuck Norris is the only person who could make the dreaded Wharton curve bend.
- Billionaire Wharton alum John M. Huntsman named his house Chuck Norris Hall.
- When your walking escort tries to pull a fast one, students call 898-CHUCK.
I rest my case.
Feel free to share any more reasons why Chuck Norris resonates with Penn students.
Tags: Chuck Norris, Politics
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