The Spin

Tips from another frigid Ivy

Lindsey Stull

Over at Columbia, apparently they’re not indulging in enough casual sex.

When I first read that blog entry, I thought it was a slightly confusing, laughably bad attempt to persuade Columbia girls to spread their legs a bit more often. Rereading, however, I found several morsels of truth that could’ve been written by any sexually frustrated Quaker.

Most guys here are woefully incompetent with women while the females themselves are viewing every hookup against the historical arc of their lives.

and just as accurate,

If you want to experience some pleasure then do it. Live in the moment! Can’t sex simply be fun? Maybe the idea is a little revolutionary for our activist student body.

It’s a good point. Penn sexual discourse is rampant — everyone in any given social group knows who’s hooking up with whom, which guy couldn’t keep it up last weekend, who’s saving it for “the one” but going down on everyone he/she knows in the meantime. This grapevine (which occasionally gets as distorted as a dirty game of telephone) definitely makes some people think twice about sleeping around. (God knows STD epidemics won’t.) At the same time, as I discussed a few weeks ago, there’s pressure to hook up, too. It’s a weird balance.

We’re all adults (or pretending pretty well), right? I say, it’s Thanksgiving. A time to be thankful or what we have and what we’re getting. If you’re so inclined, it might be a good time to follow the advice of the (dubiously named) Big Bad Wolf. Forget the papers and finals about to take over your life, savor your week off, eat some tofurky, and have some good, clean, (protected,) meaningless sex. College won’t last forever!

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4 Responses to “Tips from another frigid Ivy”

  1. J-Ro Says:

    “everyone in any given social group knows who’s hooking up with whom”

    speak for yourself. most of penn doesn’t give a crap who slept with whom.

    the world is bigger than the 4-foot halo around you.

  2. J-Mo Says:

    Tofurkey? did you really have to go there?

  3. Stephen Morse Says:

    “who’s saving it for “the one” but going down on everyone he/she knows in the meantime.”

    Got a number for me?

  4. Kiss and Tell Says:

    […] I tell? A gentleman wouldn’t. Fuck it, I’m the Big Bad Wolf! Before I devolve into my ignominous alter ego, I declare unequivocally that there is a time for silence and a time to pipe up (no pun intended). […]

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