CollegeHumor recently released their power rankings. The index lists which schools are best “for having the maximum amount of fun while putting forth the least amount of effort.”
Not only did Penn not make the list, we were beaten by both Penn State (#1) and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. I barely knew Indiana was a state, let alone that they had their own University of Pennsylvania. (Is it Indiana University of Pennsylvania or The Indiana University of Pennsylvania? - either way it makes no sense and I don’t care.)
Schools were ranked on things like percentage female, bar closing time, and percentage Greek. Penn would do very well in these areas and dominate categories such as closest Taco Bell, freshmen retention rate, and stadium size (so what if it never has people in it?).
The biggest problems Penn has are average SAT scores, concert quality, and number of male vocal groups. We can’t help it that we’re smart, and SPEC has been improving their concert selection. The only way we can climb up this ranking is to ditch the Male Vocal Groups. We have at least six by my count, giving us twice as many as the “lowest scorer” in the Top 50.
It wouldn’t be fair to eliminate any one group, so I say we just merge them all together into one male singing supergroup that can defend Chord On Blues’ Worst A Cappella Group in the Ivy League title. It’s the only way.
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December 6th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
i hope you are joking about iup.
December 7th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
[...] Actually, that’s what The Spin, DP’s opinion blog, is, a constant reminder that while perhaps dumber, poorer, less successful and celebrated than Penn kids, we are definitely smarter funnier. All in 300-word posts with dead punch lines (see the hilarious DP jabs at Indiana University of Pennsylvania). [...]