Learn to take a joke. People say the same things about the Penn guys. The author even makes fun of guys in this article directly before he makes fun of girls. It’s funny…. people laugh. Its obvious he’s not being serious.

While DPS, the police, the local news media, and the DP are pinning me down as a villain who is stalking and harassing women, I am actually a hero. The truth is, there is someone out there stalking and harassing these women, and I am out to find him or her. The collection of women’s underwear in my room is simply evidence I was searching to find the true identity of this menace.

This is a miscarriage of our justice system, just like when they accused OJ of killing his wife. Or when they accused Spiderman of trying to kill J. Jonah Jameson. As we all could plainly see, the glove did not fit, and Spidey was there to fight the Goblin! You, the very women who I was trying to protect, are now trying to malign me, and in turn are helping the true villain.

Through my research, I have discovered that the stalker is a one-armed, bushy-haired man. Once I escape from imprisonment in a heart-racing crash and chase scene, I will proceed to sneak into Huntsman to search the OCR records for the job candidates who are the most likely to be the culprits. Hopefully I will not be forced to climatically dive off the roof of the Fresh Grocer roof into McDonald’s parking lot as Maureen Rush pulls out her back-up pistol to shoot me.

But until I can find the culprit and free us from this scourge, be sure to lock your doors, and as ever, keep your delicious panties and bras hidden except from your closest friends. Unless, of course, your closest friend is a one-armed, bushy-haired man.

My writing is, has always been, and always will be satirical and not meant to be taken as fact. While not required, I would like to step out of character and personally address the feelings of my readers out there who support me every day. I take their feelings very seriously and wanted to move quickly to address this issue before it got out of hand.

The intention was not meant to make fun of those who were harassed, but rather to make a reference to a post from the Philadelphia Weekly blog (linked in the post) and a column which appeared earlier in the DP last month, where another writer (jokingly of course) wrote sarcastically about ranking college women on a scale (this article was not linked).

The point I was trying to convey from the blog post’s ending, was that everyone should do their part in being aware of the dangers around our campus by either locking their doors or taking other precautions.

Thanks to Penn police and other law enforcement for bringing this disturbing episode to a peaceful end. They deserve to be receiving the bulk of the attention, not the perpetrators, for protecting us from this and other criminal acts recently occurring on campus.

Thank you for this opportunity to clarify and your continued support of the Spin. Happy reading!

- Simeon McMillan

While we can understand that the author was being facetious and can appreciate he was not *trying* to exacerbate this (probably) difficult experience for these women, he should find that the “humor” may take a toll on the wrong party.

“he needs to do research before making blanket statements about groups of people”

Research? It’s satire…its a joke blog, not a serious column pretending to be facts. Have you read the spin before? Do you really believe prof Robb is really going to teach class from jail or half of the other crazy shit they say?

This is not serious commentary people, take a joke..I’m an engnieer too, don’t feel like you have to defend us engineers. Its an old and cliched joke we all heard a million times, like saying all wharton kids are greedy and college kids are stupid.He calls wharton students evil in like every other post. Yes, youre right, it’s not true.There are attractive people in every major. We’ve all known that. Its called sarcasm.

math majors: i know one who has probably gotten more tail in the past academic year than you will get in your 4 years at penn.

as for the engineers…mse guys are smoking - three of them have made their way around the female population at penn (that i know of), meam = hotties

kings court: many football players are holed up there to keep them in a place where they will be least likely to get into trouble…and we all know that most college athletes (even at dear old penn) get some.