Dear Penn Community,

As your Supreme Commander and new member of mayor-elect Michael Nutter’s transition team, I wanted to explain how Penn will contribute to this new administration. This list is not exhaustive. But it should give you a feel about who will be representing Penn in Nutter’s administration in the coming years.

Chairman of the ‘Philicon’ Valley Commission — Ryan Goldstein

Don’t think Philadelphia’s got the goods to be the next high-tech hot spot? Then you haven’t met Ryan Goldstein! Only a junior at Penn and already forging global computing cooperation, reaching out to the internet’s best and brightest, and still passing “Ethics and Social Responsibility for Engineers.” He will make AKILL-er appointment.

Deputy Mayor of “Safety” Initiatives — Rafael Robb

If I could describe this former economics professor in one word, it would be “honest“. With “hardly” a blemish to his name, he’s got the best plan to lead this city to “security.” Toe the line “Killadelphia,” or you might get Robb-ed!

Committee Member, Office of Integrity and Elections — Lee Stetson

With my good pal Lee recently unemployed, he could use an appointment. After his honorable reason for resignation (I did tell you all about that, right?), Lee would set an example for political candidates and never keep secrets from this proud city.

Committee Member, Mayor’s New City Image Initiative — Steven Paik, owner Club Wizzards

Although this man may not be directly associated with Penn, his fine establishment has well served desperate fraternity boys across our campus. These fine establishments make me proud to call Philadelphia home.

New Statue Atop City Hall — Amy Gutmann

William Penn is so 18th century! We need someone a little more GLAMOUR-ous to spice up our city hall!

How you like them apples? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Toodles!

\\//\\*~AMY~*//\\//

Tags: Amy Gutmann, crime, Lee Stetson, Nutter, Rafael Robb

This entry was posted on Friday, November 30th, 2007 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Penn, Philadelphia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.