It is bizarre to this antiquated pocketwatch-wearing Englishman that Iowa (Englishman: “Iowa? Funny name, that. Who’s that then?”) holds such prominence in choosing a presidential candidate.
Something seems amiss from the point of view of a foreigner in America who grew up with a democratic system that is, well, normal. A state of corn growers, where there are more dirt tracks than roads, with a population that is something like one percent of the nation, has such power?
To me, that’s like going back to the UK and asking a bunch of sheep farmers from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales (you bet your sweet arse it exists) to shout at each other for an evening about who they want for Prime Minister. Then, after the inevitable fight and customary sheep shagging has ended, I take the consensus and plaster it all over the front pages of every mainstream publication. This will then give credibility to some potential twit, all because he promised to make sheep-shagging legal and ban all beef so lamb prices skyrocket.
It’s not that I have anything against sheep farmers, or corn-growers for that matter. I’m fully aware of the work it takes to run a farm, city lad that I am, and I respect that. But it’s hardly fair. One (wo)man, one vote. Is there a reason for anybody’s vote to be more influential than any other?
The answer is a resounding no. An implication of one man, one vote is ‘one man, one equal vote’. Of course, in the Iowa case, it’s caucusing. So now, it’s one man, and whoever shouts loudest and cajoles during the election itself (and not the campaign) gets more votes.
Quite Byzantine, really.
Iowa should not go first. Nor should any state. It’s time Iowans voted like normal people, at the same time as everyone else.
Editor’s note: After much disbelief and a heated argument, we finally got around to consulting Google, which revealed that Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales actually exists.
As winner of this loud and largely irrelevant debate, Eric forced me to listen to him pronounce the longest place name in the world, which we call Bangkok and the Thai call Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit. Never argue with an Englishman in matters concerning sheep shagging.
Update: As noted below by an astute reader, placing the entire town’s name in the title royally screwed up the front page of DP.com. Stupid Welsh people and their stupid Welsh towns…
Tags: Iowa, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogog
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January 17th, 2008 at 9:42 am
The title of this post is messing up your front page layout!
January 17th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Good piece. Finally some quality on this blog.
Oh, and Welsh pride, man. Great place, great people
January 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am
I am apalled that you have taken part in spreading this awful rumor about the Welsh people´s ovinophilliac inclinations. This is outrageous!
January 18th, 2008 at 3:18 am
I agree, as do I think most Americans who have thought about the issue. Unless you’re from Iowa, what reason could you possibly have for liking the system as it is?
At least this time around Iowa doesn’t seem to have been back breaking in determining nominees.
January 20th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I think its great that Iowa votes first. The issues of agriculture get no play in the general election, and the only way this important topic gets attention is in the primaries… if it ends up putting one primary contest ahead of another, so be it…