Bush’s brain. Boy genius. The Architect. Turd Blossom.

Call him what you want, but there’s no denying that Karl Rove is one of the most brilliant and sought-after speakers in the world. An overwhelming sense of merriment was palpable on Penn’s campus on Monday, when SPEC officially announced that the former Deputy Chief of Staff to President George W. Bush would be the spring keynote speaker.

Many Penn students acknowledged the value of a Rove address on a SPEC online survey. SPEC Connaissance co-director Elana Wilf said there was great student interest in a speaker who is “controversial and political.” Ms. Wilf and her colleagues rightfully translated this to mean “Karl Rove.”

However, I suspect only a small minority of Penn students actually comprehend the possible impact of the upcoming address on their life. Rove’s inspirational message of cutting corners, making friends in high places, and conditional honesty will serve Penn students well as we enter the job market. Mr. Rove will educate us in the art of spreading lies about rival companies and revealing secrets about disloyal co-workers. Most importantly, he will show us that if we ignore obstacles and our own conscience, we can succeed in whatever we want to do.

I sincerely hope that this speech is just the beginning of a close relationship between Penn and Rove. Perhaps he could give the invocation at Fling. And maybe, God willing, he could be a visiting professor next semester.

Hopefully the new background check policy won’t be a cause for concern.

Tags: MC Rove, SPEC, Turd Blossoms

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 11:00 am and is filed under Penn, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.