What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles. Ouch. 

Sorority girls are victims to the poor reputations that precede them. This is unfair. (Full disclosure: I’m in a sorority.) But I thought long and hard, and came to the realization that a bunch of other things are also misjudged: broccoli, lice, anchovies, nap time, baths, etc. Still, by the time we turned eight, we had understood the errors of our ways. Antioxidants save lives, and what kid doesn’t enjoy mom meticulously combing through their lice-infested hair? 

So since parts of you have finally grown/dropped and you bathe regularly, I think it’s time to give sororities a second chance. I’ll get in the mindset with my favorite hypothetical: what if I were on the other side? What would I think?

1. Sorority girls are vain: Granted, this is true. We are vain. Yet a quick look in the thesaurus clears things up a bit. Vanity is synonymous with pride. We, as women of the 21st century, should be proud of ourselves. 
2. Sorority girls are fake: So we’re a little fake, but honestly, don’t hold us to a different standard. Fake is popular: Madame Tussauds’s is a popular tourist attraction, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is popular/delicious/calorie-free butter substitute, and Michael Kors used a lot of fake, environmentally-conscious fur in his widely successful winter collection. 
3. Sorority girls are moronic clones: Not true. We put entirely different ingredients in our Gia salads.
4. Sorority girls are dumb: There’s more than a 50% chance that we have a better GPA than you — and that’s good enough for me. 
5. Sorority girls are shallow: Hey, we do a lot of community service. 

Think not only about what I’ve just said, but also of Penn’s other on-campus groups: every a cappella group, Mask & Wig, the football team, Tabard…

Tags: butter, lice, sorority girls

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 11:00 am and is filed under Penn. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.