All this talk of accents led to me keenly analyse what it is that makes accents rule, exactly.

In that light, join me in a thought experiment.

Girls (and guys) imagine a tall, tanned man with aquiline features. Lean, winning smile, the works. Let’s give him an Italian accent and call him… Antonio. Swoon-worthy, n’est-ce pas? If the physical features didn’t do it for you, that accent should certainly tip you over the edge.

Now let’s make him short and fat. His smile isn’t so winning, his face not so tanned. But he retains both his name and his delightful accent. Put beside him an identical-looking short and fat man. He could be Antonio’s twin. Except this man is not called Antonio. He is an American, and he is called Trent. Trent is from Dayton, Ohio and does not sound particularly special.

Now ladies, and some of you gentlemen, if you had to pick only one of these two rotund and vertically challenged men, which one would it be?

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