“This is America. When ordering, speak English.”

So reads the now-infamous sign in the takeout window at Geno’s Steaks, where you used to be able to order a cheesesteak without a side of backwards politics. The sign — probably offensive and definitely stupid (after all: if you can read the sign, you can probably speak English) — led to a June 2006 civil rights complaint from the Philadelphia Human Relations Commission.

That’s all old news — or so I’d hope. Philly certainly doesn’t need anymore bad PR, especially when it doesn’t even represent the dominant attitude on the ground. But the Commission’s glacial pace has dragged this ordeal out for well over a year now, and — in lieu of either punishment or closure for Geno’s owner Joey Vento — they have provided instead a year of free publicity and a national spotlight. While the original sign was only seen by Geno’s patrons, images of it now appear all over the internet.

Xenophobic conservatives across the country have rallied behind Mr. Vento, labeling the City’s complaint as persecution and even going so far as to dub him a folk hero.

Yikes.

(more…)

Diversity is often a selling point for national institutions, but is anyone really buying it?

It’s not elementary school; we are not blind to our peers’ peculiarities, and we secretly crave homogeneity. That’s human nature. When we stick together, we’re more comfortable. In a precarious world that lacks absolute comfort (I mean, we’re all going to die alone), minimizing unease is often encouraged.

Seriously, who needs the added tension of disparity?

Penn facilitates our individual conformity; some cheery-eyed, Berkinstock-wearing suck up demonstrated this to me earlier than I expected. While partaking in a “College House” tour, I learned the following: if you want to be close to Fresh Grocer and are socially inept, mark Gregory College House as your first choice. If you seek diversity, pick DuBois College House! The Quad is for social butterflies. Obscure people and athletes are comfortable in Hill, kids who play DDR live in Kings Court, and independent-minded students choose the high rises.

(more…)

Graduate and realize: Penn’s like a friendly panhandler. You don’t know if he needs the money, but he hits you up so nicely (and so often), eventually you just give in.

OK — nothing like an exaggerated metaphor to start my Spin blogging career. In truth, I only get a monthly Penn fund reminder, and projects like the Postal Lands or a new Hill Field College House are worthy investments.

But as a potential donor, I’ve got to be honest — reading the paper makes me put the checkbook away. Any given day last year, I’d hit up The DP front page and see a student arrested for theft. For cybercrime. For panty stealing.

Living in D.C., it seemed like The DP added a rotating “Student arrested for ____” Mad Libs feature, filling the blank with a new and more exotic crime every few weeks.

(more…)

My favorite thing about the first day of classes is getting utterly lost in a familiar place.

Just as some children are born without arms or legs or certain vital enzymes, so was I brought into this world with no sense of direction. You wouldn’t scold that poor child and ask him to grow a new limb or not turn bright red when sharing the room with a bottle of tequila, would you?

Telling me to learn my way around accomplishes about as much, with the added threat of annoyed, uncoordinated violence aimed in your direction.

(more…)

It is bizarre to this antiquated pocketwatch-wearing Englishman that Iowa (Englishman: “Iowa? Funny name, that. Who’s that then?”) holds such prominence in choosing a presidential candidate.

Something seems amiss from the point of view of a foreigner in America who grew up with a democratic system that is, well, normal. A state of corn growers, where there are more dirt tracks than roads, with a population that is something like one percent of the nation, has such power?

To me, that’s like going back to the UK and asking a bunch of sheep farmers from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales (you bet your sweet arse it exists) to shout at each other for an evening about who they want for Prime Minister. Then, after the inevitable fight and customary sheep shagging has ended, I take the consensus and plaster it all over the front pages of every mainstream publication. This will then give credibility to some potential twit, all because he promised to make sheep-shagging legal and ban all beef so lamb prices skyrocket.

(more…)

Maybe you’re a freshman, or maybe you’ve got your own printer. But if not, then you surely know that Penn has raised the cost of printing from 5 cents to 8 cents per page. And if you frequent the Weiss Tech House, which offers free printing, you know that they’ve placed ridiculous restrictions on how many pages you can print.

I don’t know what you call a 60% hike in printing costs and fewer free options, but I call it some bullshit.

Guy Fawkes said, “desperate times call for desperate measures,” and I took that aphorism to heart last semester. After some bribes, some pulled strings, and some 1337 hax0ring, I now have unlimited free printing — in black and white and in color.

“How?” you ask me. “Where?” Ah, faithful reader, wouldn’t you like to know. I’m a second-semester senior, but I still have some printing in me yet. I wouldn’t want to share my privilege with you at the cost of having The Man take it away. Perhaps the day will come when I think to myself, “fudge it all to heck” and tell the world my little secret. Perhaps they’ll make a movie about the chaos that ensues and cast Nicolas Cage as me.

Until then, enjoy the annoying card-swiping and the perpetually low toner that define Penn’s printing service.

In late October, I cheated on my political crush.

Since hearing his speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, I’ve had a crush on Obama (see below). I was the first person in my small Alabama town to put an Obama ‘08 sticker on my car (and have the key marks to show for it). But, on October 30th, before the Democratic debate at Drexel, I betrayed Barack’s trust and campaigned for Hillary Clinton.

It happened for the same reason that many affairs do. Convenience.

(more…)

After a long, arduous selection process involving knocking on doors and lying about our motives, we finally have a new crop of bloggers for Spring 2008. Read about them here and keep checking back to get to know them over the rest of the semester; they’re a hilarious group of people from all over the place (the Deep South! England! the Linguistics Consortium!) who can’t wait to keep you giggling in class for a whole ‘nother five months.

Without further ado:

Vaughn Stewart is totally boss. A freshman hailing from Alabama, the state of blue skies and lynch mobs, he enjoys video games, earlobes, and Keith Olbermann. He consulted his Facebook to remind himself of his interests. He does not have a tattoo that says “THUG NASTY” on his chest. He thinks people talking on their blue tooths (blueteeth?) are actually trying to start a conversation with him. Occasionally, they are.

College sophomore Madeleine Kronovet is a newbie from New York. She studies history and anthropology when she’s not dancing her heart out. Look forward to constant witticisms and a unique perspective on random and varied Penn issues.

CGS Post-Bac and University employee Lauren Friedman works in linguistics but is pretty solidly monolingual. She supports the “singular they” theoretically but not in actual writing. Although she already spent four years going to college in the Philly area, another few can’t hurt. Her three great loves at Penn are tuition benefits, librarians, and — as of today — The Spin.

A rather irreverent blogger, Eric Sukumaran is a senior from London,
England majoring in Philosophy, Politics and Economics. He enjoys reading and playing rugby, is a huge lover of good food and drink and lives to have energetic discussions with his fellow man (also known as arguing). Oh, and he loves ice cream.

Dan Diamond (C’02) lives in DC where he plays with words for a living and plays ultimate frisbee for fun. As our resident alumni blogger, he looks forward to chastising undergraduates for their atonal “indie rock,” reminding them how much harder life was pre-Fresh Grocer, and generally being cranky for a semester.

After providing new and interesting perspectives on everything from porn to cancer in 2007, College senior Nick Barr still hasn’t found a school club he likes, so he’s back for a second round in 2008. Look forward to comical vulgarity and an increasingly cynical point of view as his thesis due date draws ever nearer.

A College sophomore, Jon Wroble is known to lie about four things: age, weight and ability to count. He hails from Chicago, which seems a lot nicer after living in Philly. If you really want to get on his good side, buy him a birthday gift — he was born on Christmas Eve, so he never gets anything good (if anything at all). He likes music and film, but hates musicals.

And then there’s me, Lindsey Stull, heretofore referred to in the third person for continuity’s sake and my own amusement. A sophomore from Oklahoma who lies regularly about both her age and her childhood home, Lindsey takes copious amounts of pleasure in hyperbole, biology and many kinds of music. She is excited to abandon last semester’s sex(y) blog (and unsexy picture) and give her skewed, sarcastic, hippie vegetarian opinion on all things Penn. She fills Ali Jackson’s shoes as Opinion Blog Editor this semester. Get excited.