I will get one. It is inevitable. Why? You ask.

Because I will have a job. It will be one where the emails pertain to important things. I write in response to the delectable Miss Himeles who reported on the use of Blackberries (or since they aren’t actually berries, is it Blackberrys?) a few days ago, and in response to Miss Gordon, who wrote an opinion piece back in September.

Miss Gordon, you are not inadequate for your non-use of the Blackberry. You are, in fact, getting more out of your college life and I am glad to see from your wonderfully sarcastic article that you got that point. I am huge fan of a decent spot of sarcasm. For those of you for whom it is still like a foreign language, read the piece and learn.

You see, Miss Himeles pointed out that Blackberr(ies)(ys) apparently suit the pre-professional outlook here at Penn. I would like to add one thing: PRE - professional. Pre. You know what actual bankers see when they observe Penn students walking around with Blackberrys(ies?). No, it isn’t, “Wow, that kid really has it together, better hire him!” It’s, “Seriously, what the hell sort of email does he get that he needs to have it right away?” or “What a prick.”

I took the liberty to speak to bankers and such from different echelons of major banks about this. They are mostly amazed at the phenomenon. First and second years at these places hate the chain that ties them to the ball that is work. Older ones are just bemused.

And so, to echo Miss Gordon’s point, what the hell sort of email do you get? I know some of you genuinely need them. The Managing Editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian could probably do with one. But you don’t need one if you think you are going into finance and you think that’s a must have. Sorry to break this to you, but playing banker doesn’t get you a job. Freaks.

Oh, for any of you obnoxious morons who post saying, “Well, you aren’t in Wharton/ looking for a job in finance, you wouldn’t understand,” I would like to politely tell you to bugger off. I am not in Wharton, but I will be working for an investment bank. And I did it without using a damn Blackberry just to receive messages on my SAS account about whether I’d like to go and get drunk tonight. I have my computer for that.

Either way, the world will probably end up like this:

Tags: blackberry, pre-professional, the wonderful misses Gordon and Himeles

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