Oxygen, sleep, and food. These are the basic physiological necessities. Without them, we’d be quite uncomfortable and complain a lot. Once we tired of complaining, we’d give up and die. But I say, we’re too young and pretty to die (look at my picture).
So before you freak out, let’s just think this over. Oxygen? Check. Sleep? Check — thank you time management. How about food (i.e. nutrients, sustenance)? Get out your Family Feud signs: survey says X. Now it’s time to freak out.
Every time I hear that grumble in my tummy, I remember. And it pains me. The West Philadelphia “dining scene” makes me want to barf. (No fair! I thought I’d get to binge before I purge.) The Woody Allen in me got me thinking: What if I remain in a perpetual bilious state… and just wither away? How am I supposed to obtain safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization?
You see, the problem is that whoever blueprinted Philadelphia (Kevin Bacon’s father) entrusted Penn to provide us with suitable eating establishments. Mr. Bacon, didn’t you know that quality trumps quantity — especially with food? And that many of Penn’s students are kosher!
Our options are subpar at best. Penn’s eating hub, Houston Hall, uses crappy ingredients and compensates with moderately expensive prices. The dining halls are famously gross. Campusfood offers zero-health alternatives. And Fresh Grocer? More like Fester Grocer.
To align myself the 2008 election brouhaha, I’m going to vote for change. Whichever candidate is going to start this food revolution, please remember the following: war, Costco, and I suppose pencils are the few examples of when quantity holds weight. And even so, only poor people, suburbanites, and fourth graders (aka the philistines) trouble themselves with the above anyway. I believe in change. Next term, I want healthy alternatives (and less preservatives).
Tags: Bacon, Psych 1, Vote or Die
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