On Monday, I woke up at 10:45 a.m. Sometimes my loud roommate wakes me up earlier, but she slept through class and ruined my chances of seeing Bill Clinton. Girls can be so passive aggressive!

Bill’s coming to campus, and tickets for Thursday’s “performance” sold out in less than 40 minutes. That’s pretty impressive. Only pop culture favorites like the Super Bowl and Girl Power concerts sell out faster. (Note: Clinton is more sought after than Sporty Spice. It’s a fact from my childhood.) 

Clinton has this paradox-mystique thing going on. He’s likable but suspect, popular yet polarizing. He’s the most charismatic Protestant to have ever step foot in the White House. Because honestly, would anybody want to “make love” to Karl Rove? Obviously not. He looks like Wilbur. 

I’m quite annoyed that I can’t see Clinton because I have a really big crush on — I mean, I’m interested in what he has to say.

Plus, he’s the best that Penn is going to get. Speaking of, I interned for Bloomberg. Bill is much more compelling. The University has extra money lying around. It should allocate a sizable budget to accommodate Bill’s broad appeal. 

I demand a round two performance — he’s a superstar. I want to fawn all over him him like my mom did to David Cassidy. It’s just undemocratic that the masses wake up at an obscenely early hour… and have ticket-priority. In my head, Bill doesn’t wake up before ten, and neither should you, ticket holders! I go to bed late. 

And on that note, Mr. (former) President, did I mention that I interned for Bloomberg?

Tags: alarm clocks, Annenberg, David Cassidy

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 at 2:00 pm and is filed under Penn, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.