Most of us remember those lengthy, impressively pointless “career tests” we had to take in our junior year of high school. They would ask simple questions — like “Do you enjoy laying bricks?” — and then predict a potential career for the respondent if he said “yes.” (My guess: a bricklayer.) Some would even ask more difficult and philosophical questions — like “Do you have a soul?” — and predict a good-fit college for a “yes” answer. (My guess: Wharton.)
But as fun as those tests were, it turns out that many high schoolers more or less ignore them. (And have a whole different understanding of the phrase “to get tested.”) This report, for example, explains that only half of teenage students actually seek out career counseling, and those who do don’t find it particularly effective.
That said, I’m not trying to say that high school guidance counselors — even the worst of ‘em — are totally hopeless. Perhaps Stephen Colbert said it best in I Am American (And So Can You!):
“A guidance counselor [wonders], ‘If I’m so good at finding careers, how did I end up with this one?’”
So if we can’t trust our counselors to find us a place in the real world, where should we look? One higher ed writer suggests that we trust our astrological signs to make potential career choices. In that light, I’ve checked his forecast for Capricorns to see where I might be in ten years.
According to the academic zodiac, there are good and bad things about me. I’m ambitious, for instance, but also overly credulous. (Overly credulous enough to, say, trust astrology to pick my job?) With those traits in mind, I’m best suited for a career in English or history — but I also might land an alternative career like screenwriting! (And if a stripper can do it, then so can I.) Or if somehow none of that works out, there might be room for me in the field of “medical-test patient.”
Maybe I’ll just stick to bricklaying.
Tags: bricklaying, Colbert, guidance counselors
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