On Friday afternoon, a text message (followed by an e-mail and a phone call) put my mind at ease. The UPenn Alert system was fully functioning.
The Penn Police have taken a giant leap into the 21st century. They plan to text us if there is a campus emergency. This is wise, as our generation invented the text message break-up. The new strategy is also convenient: now I don’t even have to take out my earphones to know that there’s a shooting rampage.
So, the new alert system got me thinking about all the ways my life at Penn would be easier if the University sent text notifications for more than just violent emergencies. Here are a few examples:
1) ur TA will b 30 min L8 2 class
2) food n dinin hall edible 2nite
3) ppl sexin under the button
4) streakin on the green!
5) prof givin quiz 2day on shit you prbly didnt read
6) spec spkr announcd, pwns
7) line @ wawa doesnt extend 2 milkshakes
8 ) sum1 puked in mens bathroom- use coed 1
Tags: pwnage, sexin', text messages, vomit
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