Pardon my language… but today sucks. Tomorrow, too.
For the first time in four years — and only the third time in a decade — Penn missed the men’s NCAA basketball tournament.
Did I just lose your sympathy?
Look. Maybe you’re blasé about Penn athletics or sports-illiterate. But, with our basketball slide likely to continue, let me explain why a winning team benefits the school.
(And if the cost is our ethical standards? Meh.)
1. Admissions.
Penn’s concerned by falling applications? Prop up basketball — the only media-friendly sport where we can compete. Because wins = buzz = more apps = greater selectivity.
Take Northwestern, Division-I football’s biggest losers. But when the long-suffering Wildcats qualified for the 1996 Rose Bowl — boosting the school’s profile — applications and admits’ SAT scores shot up as much as 25%. The school even crept into the top-ten of the very-flawed U.S. News rankings.
As Cornell’s learned — hundreds of articles later — no athletic scholarships and ridiculous academic standards guarantee: The Ivy NCAA rep gets free advertising to millions.
2. School spirit.
Cheesy? Unnecessary for self-starters and pre-professionals?
Well… my favorite Penn memory was eighth-ranked Kansas’s visit. The Palestra was a raucous, screaming orgy of red and blue — and we didn’t even win. When else does our diverse campus gather like that, chanting for our school? Not Fling, which can divide us; even Hey Day’s less celebration than inebriation.
Unfortunately, a lackluster team means empty seats and more reason for non-fans to steer clear.
3. Donations.
Take it from an alum: Penn loses mental share every year you’re out of school.
But Amy Gutmann wants alumni around the country congregating and thinking about the school? Get Penn on T.V. for a few hours during a premier sporting event.
There’s no better time to hit us up.
Of course, “propping up basketball” isn’t easy, especially with an academic index governing admissions.
But other schools aren’t just catching Penn – they’re getting ahead. Two sophomores helped Cornell dominate the Ivies; second-place Brown swept the Quakers; and even doormat Harvard wants aggressive improvement.
It’s an uphill road. The only solution? An inspirational montage Cheat our butts off.
Add Arthur Ting as team doctor. Hire Kelvin Sampson as a recruiter. Take transfer students from Stanford (hey, I’m just an opinion blogger; The Buzz can figure out the details).
I don’t care. I’ll look the other way. Just make Penn basketball matter in March again.
Tags: Basketball, cheating, ncaa tournament
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March 23rd, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I highly doubt any self-respecting sports fan changed his college choice based on Cornell’s pathetic showing.
I take that back. Maybe he decided not to go there now.