So it has been brought to my attention that, in fact, we are a bunch of nerds. And, as usual, I blame Princeton.

For it was they who hosted a team from Middlebury playing Quidditch. Oh yes, Quidditch. I don’t care if we hosted them first, I still blame them, mainly to avoid despairing at our own sheer idiocy. Thankfully Ivygate blames them, too.

For those of you not cool enough to know, Quidditch is the game of the wizarding world, as described in the Harry Potter novels.

The game involves flying around on broomsticks with three different kinds of balls - one type (the Quaffle) to throw through hoops, one type (the Bludger) that renders you unconscious and the Golden Snitch, a tiny little ball that whizzes around, the capture of which ends the game and earns you 150 points (usually winning you the match). The rules are important for what comes next.

In the Middlebury version, the Snitch is played by a “hyperactive college student” in a yellow jersey, sporting a sock from his behind in the hope someone grabs it and ends the game. I think he’s also asking for feel-up, but that’s just me talking. I mean, kid, what the hell is wrong with you? You are not a Snitch, you’re an idiot hoping no one catches the sock flapping invitingly in the region of your arse.

And for the rest of you, why is it you think traveling around the country repeatedly sticking a broom between your crotch and running around is a good way to piss away your parents’ tuition money?

I have a revelation for you. You will never fly. No matter how much you try. You look like a f*cked up sports team that took too many bumps to the head. And then started reading Harry Potter. It is not real. You are just stupid.

And from the DP article about these morons’ visit to campus, I gather that there is a fake Quidditich World Cup, and that 70 colleges are involved in the US alone. A whole tournament of these nutters (thousands of them) prancing around on brooms. I just wish there were some fake Death Eaters around (I refer you the to the incident in book/movie four).

Oh yes, I am a Potter fan. I come from Rowling’s land, and I lived in the same dorm building as she in my first year of college (though obviously not at the same time). Even she will probably be worried about this, except that she is probably taking a cut for the use of the term “Quidditch.”

I shall just leave you with how far Potter-mania has spread. I recently saw a sign in white chalk plastered onto a wall (warning: plot-spoiler coming up) — it said “Harry Kills Voldemort.”

Except that it wasn’t just any wall… it was the Great Wall of China.

Tags: graffiti, Great Call of china, Harry Potter, Idiots, quidditch

This entry was posted on Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 12:27 pm and is filed under Ivy League, Penn, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.