If you care to hear another college student’s opinion on the upcoming election (you don’t, be honest), here it is.

Let’s face it, with all the hooplah surrounding political endorsements these days, you Americans have been neglecting one of the most important endorsements of all time. Who cares that Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, and 50 Cent back Obama, and that Stephen Baldwin, Sylvester Stallone, and Curt Schilling support McCain? What aboot the opinion of the Canadians, eh? How come you haven’t asked for our endorsement? Shame on you!

(Seriously, if you would listen to us, we may, in exchange, give you a glimpse of all the foreign policy secrets that we have learned by being closer to Russia than 49 of the 50 US states.)

Great, now that I have your attention, here we go: I declare on behalf of all Canadians, I (we) endorse Sarah Palin, the vice-presidential candidate of the GOP.

Why?

Well, no matter what you may believe in, let’s forget all about Palin’s political views and credentials, as those important issues play no role in the formation of my opinion. I back Sarah Palin, the self-proclaimed “hockey mom” (and the first VP candidate to proclaim him/herself by that title, by the way) because of her support for the sport of ice hockey.

Okay, hear me out. Living in Canada, I have grown up with hockey. I played the sport, revered professional players as heroes, and still fanatically cheer on my home team, the Vancouver Canucks. Now imagine how disappointed I was when I moved here to find out just how disinterested Americans were in hockey! How can the NHL be behind the NFL, MLB, and NBA in popularity? Those sports don’t even deserve to be linked to this post.

Now take a second and imagine what Palin could do for the sport. Sure, once in office she could attend to the same old boring issues that presidents have dealt with for years - like the economy, health care, or Iraq War - but this hockey mom would really get down to business. Using her Alaskan hockey mom roots, Palin would revamp the popularity of the NHL in America, bringing back USA Hockey to its glory days.

I mean, come on, you don’t want us Canadians pushing you around on the rink, do you? What kind of country would let Canada be the boss of anything?

McCain Gretzky-Palin ‘08!

Tags: 50 Cent, Ben Affleck, Canada, Curt Schilling, GOP, Gretzky, HMILFs, Jennifer Aniston, Miracle on Ice, Sarah Palin, Stephen Baldwin, Sylvester Stallone

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 at 12:14 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.