Good luck, freshmen

This semester, I will be coming to you from Spain as I trek around Europe looking for good places to eat and think about doing my homework.

As a result, I’m missing out on what is arguably the most (im)memorable event of the fall semester, New Student Orientation. This cherished time of year involves many a frat party and drunken foray into quasi-philosophical nonsense.

Freshmen attempt to display their mental chops and often get roasted for it, and a new class of Penn students discovers the mysteries of dining hall cuisine. (”Is that really what I think it is? Isn’t that only eaten in rural Kazakhstan?”)

Personally, I have different ties to NSO. Anyone that knows me even remotely will tell you that I got my party out of my system a very, very long time ago. Like before I was born.

I have no regrets about missing out on the festivities as 17- and 18-year-olds taste their first floor-and-ping-pong ball-flavored light beer. No amount of “I’m Bringing Sexy Back” repetition could compel me to step into those dens of vice known as frat houses.

Nevertheless, I will miss many parts of NSO.

Undoubtedly, my favorite part is the act I like to call the “timid freshman.” You know what I’m talking about (even you, freshmen) — the look of bewilderment as they see an upperclassman walking along and quietly ask where Williams is, before quickly scurrying off to be 15 minutes early to class. This is not to say that we weren’t all like that once, but thank God that’s over, right?

I also miss seeing the ways that freshmen try to make friends. They will confidently assume you’re another freshman and try to strike up a conversation with you — prefaced, of course, by the question, “So, where are you from?” Sorry, guys, I won’t go over to see your dorm in Hill and no, I don’t want to go to Commons ever again.

The glories of such interactions at NSO are not to be understated, and I thank my deity of choice that I’m not there again. I’ll sit back and count the days until I take off for Europe, while the freshmen get to learn all about the wonders of the way we name buildings at Penn.

Tags: NSO

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 at 6:00 am and is filed under Penn, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.