My beloved friends and acquaintances of this wonderful campus: I’m sorry, I don’t know your names.
If you’re wondering, I’m not addressing random people I met that one time at a loud party my freshman year I keep seeing around campus. I’m referring to people with whom I have definitely had meaningful conversations and shared significant memories, whose names I — no excuses — should fondly remember.
I understand this may happen freshman year, where everyone is always new, but unfortunately, I’m a senior. Sure, it’s easy to ridicule freshmen for innocent questions like “What’s a Logan Hall?” or “Were you the one who took my virginity during NSO?”, but nothing beats not remembering a friend’s name after knowing them for the past three years of your life, and then having to rely on Facebook to refresh your Alzheimer’s-like memory.
- You: Do you remember when we watched that sunset together?
Me: Of course… uh… dammit, who are you again?
Now some of you may think I’m just some forgetful asshole, but come on, I think I’m justified. Do you really expect me to distinguish between the hundreds of students running around this campus with one-syllable names like Jon, John, Joan, and Jahne (sp?)? Please. And conversely, if you have a really complicated name like Jean-Pierre Abdul Jee-Won Kalogeropoulos, don’t expect me to remember your name either, friend.
On the other hand, though, I find it quite unacceptable when people can’t remember my name. It’s Tae. I mean, come on, my name is an awesome mix of brevity with a touch of unique Korean exoticism. It even rhymes with 1117 words of the English language, so you can make yourself a cool poem to learn it! For example:
It was Christmas and the kids lay in the hay, looking for Santa’s sleigh,
When it came, were the children happy? Nay. It was just him, Tae.
There you go, easy. Now you have no excuse… uhh… never mind. I’ll get your name someday.
Tags: Logan Hall, virginity, Your Name
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