See how awkward long distance relationships can be?

After passing a steamy summer hooking up in your friends’ parents’ beds and taking photos of yourselves kissing, all you college-age couples are being forced to decide whether or not your bond is strong enough to graduate to a long distance relationship. I’ve compiled list of telltale signs that a fling is just a fling, with some tips I managed to pick up in all those US history classes.

1. Someone becomes too controlling. College is your time to be independent; don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do. America didn’t stand for it when her first boyfriend, Great Britain, started to control her. Even though they had so much in common, she decided that she needed to break free and “just be single for a while.”

2. One partner develops a wandering eye. If your relationship isn’t strong to begin with, lusting after others in your area is almost inevitable. America first began eyeing her neighbor Louisiana while involved in a casual rebound with France after her messy split from England.

3. The relationship is one-sided. Don’t let yourself remain dedicated to a long distance partner if they won’t show you the same respect. After America dated hunky bad boy Vietnam, she was left feeling like she had given everything, and gotten very little in return.

4. Jealousy infects the relationship. Being in a long distance relationship requires immense amounts of trust in one’s partner, something that was lacking in America’s long relationship with the Soviet Union. She couldn’t help being paranoid all the time that he was doing something he shouldn’t, and they got into frequent arguments. Eventually, the relationship faded out, but sometimes we all think “what if…”

5. One person feels like they’re being held back. It’s important to enjoy your college experience, and not to spend all of your time talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend or wishing that you were with them. When America recently got back with her ex, Iraq, the relationship was all-consuming, and now it seems like she resents being with him rather than enjoying it.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 18th, 2008 at 2:30 pm and is filed under Higher Education, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.