Fountain of knowledge, keeper of wisdom, I thank thee for thy bounty and thy grace.

For you have stayed beside me throughout my years of folly (of which there have been many), delivering me from uncertainty and ignorance.  When I was low, you helped me rise up, provided me with insight, sagaciousness, understanding.  For this, I thank you, urbandictionary.com, for I would be lost without you.

As a pre-adolescent, I needed guidance, and you were there. My naivete was vast: I thought head was what came after neck.  But you were with me to turn my gaze downward, and I was grateful.

As a teenager, I looked to you to keep me informed about the goings-on of my classmates.  I no longer contemplated in vain the meanings of phrases detonating sexual conquest, or wondered how much dosh I need to get a dubsack.

Countless hours I have spent with you, urbandictionary, learning the useful and useless alike.  Just two weeks ago I was reminded yet again of your selfless generosity while writing one of my previous blogs, when I discovered that  even reporters and investigators employed your aid in order to discover a narcotic with a downright silly name. 

And yesterday, I called upon you yet again, after reading a Facebook Event Invitation sent out by my Chicagan roommate in which she requested that guests participate both in “juking” and in drinking various alcoholic beverages or “pop.”  I now have clear expectation of exactly what will be happening in my living room this Friday evening.

I don’t know how I can thank you enough, my faithful friend, for your unwavering service.

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