Ah yes, it’s that time of year again, filled with campaign slogans, advertisements, and posters. But move aside Obama and McCain, this election has nothing to do with you.

Yes, today is the last day to vote in the 2008-2009 Freshman Elections for the Undergraduate Assembly and Class Boards!

Although I won’t vote (I’m a senior) and ultimately don’t care, I was very interested in reading each candidate’s statements, and came to the same conclusion summed up by this article in Wednesday’s edition of the Daily Pennsylvanian: What’s with the ridiculous promises of unfeasible change?

Are people bitching so much about issues like better dining options (grocery shopping?) and better toilet paper (textbooks?) that these candidates feel compelled to fool their fellow classmates with absurd pledges? Some of the platforms don’t make any sense. Could someone please explain to me how some candidates will reconcile plans for more air conditioners with the goal for a “greener campus”? And then there’s this guy.

So, to give you eager leaders of the Class of 2012 some direction, here’s a change you can make on this campus with less than $5, a few hours of your night, and a can of WD-40.

For anyone who has taken a class in Stiteler Hall sometime in the last four years should relate to this: everytime I hear one of those desks in the lecture hall squeak, I want to take whatever writing utensil I’m using and stab myself in the face.

Every semester I’ve had a class in that building, and every semester that high-pitched sound reverberates off the unforgiving brick walls and annihilates my eardrums. It is incredibly disruptive, especially when someone wanders in late to the lecture and all you hear is “The final exam will consist of SQUEEEEEEEEAK!!!” Moreover, while most look forward to the :50 minute mark of every hour, I dread it, because I know when the clock hits the :50, my head will explode in response to the collective rusty scream of hundreds of desks.

So freshmen leaders, please, I have no use for A/C in Hill or better food at Commons. At least make me happy and fix this Stiteler problem. Seriously, if you’ll do this, I’ll pay for the first can of WD-40.

On a final note, Caitlin O’Neill, congratulations on your uncontested domination of the Nursing School!

Tags: Class of 2012, Stiteler Hall, Undergraduate Assembly, WD-40

This entry was posted on Friday, September 26th, 2008 at 1:30 pm and is filed under Penn. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.