Sniff sniff. Smell that?

No, it’s not the aftermath of your rommate’s epic trip to the bathroom. It’s the unmistakable smell of tension. For those living under a rock or in Gregory College House: the hometown Phillies are in the World Series, and the election is rapidly approaching.

With those two major events, concerns have risen regarding the response to their outcomes. Being the peace-loving individual that I am, I’d like to address anyone who is thinking of reenacting the climactic scene of Do the Right Thing.

Phillies Fans

Look, I understand what you’re going through. I realize that you haven’t won anything since ‘83. I realize that your teams are notorious for choking and that you’d be incredibly happy/pissed if the Phillies won/lost. But here’s something that I’m not sure you realize.

Other sports fans don’t really like you that much.

And I know it’s unfair that we give you such a hard time. I mean, who cares that you throw batteries at opposing players and celebrate career ending injuries? That doesn’t give people the right to call you violent. Show them how wrong they are by not burning down Allegros.

Don’t riot, and I promise we’ll forgive you for booing Santa Claus.

Obama Supporters

If you’re black and you believe that Obama becoming president will push our people forward five years, please don’t set us back another 10 by stealing a sofa in celebration of his victory.

And if he loses and you cry voter fraud? Smashing voting booths with a baseball bat won’t increase voter turnout.

McCain Supporters

Tired of people accusing you of being crazy just because some nutjobs made you look bad? Prove them wrong by reacting to a McCain loss/victory with a nice pat on their backs rather than a swift roundhouse kick to their faces.

Don’t think Obama will be able to handle our economic crisis? Well, lighting cars on fire and destroying property won’t really help things either.

Finally, if you’re sick of the assumption that Republicans don’t care about inner city communities, destroying West Philly in support of McCain won’t really dispel that belief.

People who just want a new TV

Just go to Best Buy. Seriously, they have some really nice offers where you can save anywhere from 5 to 15 percent on a wide selection of TVs. There’s also free shipping on all TVs 40 inches and up. Best Buy. Thousands of possibilities, get yours.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 at 12:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.