Archive for October, 2008
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Looking for ways to get back at your ex-lover for leaving you and breaking your heart into a thousand pieces?
You could ceremoniously burn all of their possessions in a giant bonfire. Or you could make a mini voodoo doll and torture it from the comfort of your own room. But those solutions are so 1990s… may I suggest a revenge tactic fit for our digital age?
How about a cold, ruthless murder of his or her virtual video game character?
That’s what, according to this article, a 43-year old Japanese piano teacher did when her online husband divorced her in “Maple Story“, an online role-playing game comparable to the popular game titled “Second Life“.
“Marty from Delaware” called in to Baseball this Morning the day after the Phillies clinched a trip to the World Series. Perhaps he was exhausted from watching an emotionally draining game or maybe he only has a 5th grade education or maybe he knew full well what he was saying. Regardless of the circumstances, with Marty’s grammatical slip, an “endearingly dopey” post-season slogan was born: “Why can’t us?”
Philadelphians have been swift to adopt the rallying cry, and the motto has spawned an entire line of merchandise in support of the Phightin’ Phils.
“Why can’t us?” are three little words that Jeff Kolakowski says summarize “the joy and the passion and the pain release that getting into the World Series brought.”
Penn’s motto Leges sine Moribus vana (I know, you already knew that) is neither endearing nor dopey — there’s no joy, a questionable quantity of passion and a decided lack of pain release. According the website of the University Archives and Records Center the phrase translates to “laws without morals are useless” (I know, you already knew that too…) but what exactly does that mean? (more…)
Reaching new levels of productivity
For all you Pottruck fiends, this invention may be your dream come true. For the rest of you about to enter the real world, I’d pray every night that your future office doesn’t implement these contraptions.
Ladies and gentleman, introducing to you America’s latest attempt to make you healthier. No, it’s not some extreme protein-only diet or a new amphetamine that will suppress your appetite. Rather, it’s the combination of two worlds that should never meet: the gym and the office.
If you’re imagining treadmills attached to functional desks and computer stations, you’re right. This technology encourages walking while working and its developers at the Mayo Clinic see it as the “Office of the Future.” According to a New York Times article a few hundred of these Walkstations have already been sold to nationwide companies.
I’m scared.
Don't let these cute little snowflakes fool you. They are evil!
It’s the end of October, and I’m already freezing.
Having lived either in the South or southern hemisphere all my life, being at Penn has exposed me to really cold weather for the first time. Having — barely — survived two Philly winters, I feel that I should bestow the knowledge I’ve gained about how to keep warm to those of you who are experiencing cold weather for the first time.
Here goes:
1. Don’t leave your room. Ever. Not for class or even Thanksgiving break. If you leave it, there is no way to guarantee that you will not get cold this winter.
2. Drink. If you’d rather not do it alone, you can pretty much bank on the fact that frat parties are going to be warm. FYI, I hear that scotch is especially good for getting rid of a cold.
3. Accept Jesus as your Savior. His light will shine on you and keep you warm until the end of days, at which time you will ascend into the Kingdom of Heaven!
4. Don’t wear a coat at night. Especially if you’re on your way to a party. It will force you to walk faster and thus increase your body temperature.
5. Read fashion magazines. Looking at the resort collections will have you feeling the Caribbean sunshine in no time!
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A few weeks ago, I wrote about a recent effort by AIDS Services in Asian Communities (ASIAC) — a Philadelphia-based non-profit organization — to raise HIV/AIDS awareness by offering free movie tickets on Locust Walk. While I congratulated the efforts of organizations like ASIAC, I concluded that it was disturbing that based on student behavior, organizations thought that students now needed material incentives to get themselves checked.
One story in the news this week highlighted another distressing social trend in the context of sexual health.
CNN.com (you know, that reputable news organization that sells T-shirts of its headlines?) recently reported on an initiative by inSpot.org, a non-profit organization based in San Francisco. According to the article published on October 24, 2008, you can now inform your sexual partners past and present (future?) via an e-card to get themselves screened for an STD with a message like this:
“Who? What? When? Where? It doesn’t matter. I got an STD; you might have it too. Please get checked out.”
That is the name I suggest in place of the word “midterms.” Midterms are never given at the midpoint of the semester, which is where I’m assuming the “mid” comes from in midterms.
There is often a standard deviation of about a month to the left and right of the midpoint in terms of when we encounter our midterms. This semester, my first midterm was due on September 26th, and my final one is on November 18th.
In case you’re wondering, the midpoint of the semester was this week.
How many midterms did I actually have this week? Four. How many fall outside of this week? Nine.
I suggest Penn stops calling these tests ‘midterms,’ and I offer my own suggestion for a new name: Betwerms.
It’s better because it derives from the word “between,” saying that it is just a test between the beginning and the end of the term, and it does not mislead students to think that it’s anywhere near the middle of the semester.
My Biology 121 midterm was directly one hour before my final. You tell me how that deserves to be called a midterm, and I’ll give you a reason why Pokemon can’t be considered the best television show of all time.
From dormitories built by world-renowned architects to top of the line dining facilities and gyms to scores upon scores of performances and activities, a modern university is more like a luxury resort than an institute of higher learning.
College is a time of fun and experimentation, a time to let loose, drink up, sleep late, and forget all the troubles afflicting the “real world.” College is a four year, all-inclusive, leisure vacation.
Everything we could ever want is at our fingertips. Looking for museums? Theatrical performances? Rock walls? Yeah, we got those.
Even nightlife is included! Frats aren’t just places of brotherhood anymore; they’re competitive nightclubs that provide liquor gratis and allow all manner of raunchy and provocative behavior.
When kids are choosing a college or university, the standard of education is still somewhat important, but students are starting to look at other factors as well. (What’s the campus like? What kind of activities are there? How big will my dorm room be? Are there a lot of hot chicks? How easy is it to score coke?)
And each college is ready with its pitch as to why your “experience” will be better at their institution than anywhere else.
We’re living the high life right now. Our biggest worries are our midterm grades and whether or not we can go to MarBar and still wake up for our 11:30 a.m. recitation. So stop worrying about your grade on that midterm, put down your books, and go experience.
The Daily Princetonian recently published the results of a survey done by the school’s “Committee on Background and Opportunity” (COMBO). The Committee found that students’ experiences at Princeton varied with their self-reported socioeconomic class.
This isn’t exactly earth-shattering news, nor is it a phenomenon unique to Princeton — renting on 44th and Chestnut is not the same as living in the Radian, dinner at Pod costs way more than a sandwich at Frita’s and 50-cent night on campus is different from bottle service downtown.
But in addition to a discrepancy in “student experience” there was also “some discrepancy among members of the same [self-reported] income bracket as to which social class they belong to.”
Uhhh, by “some discrepancy” COMBO means that of the students who reported “upper-middle class” status, some had parents who earned $25,000 per year and some had parents who earned $1 million annually. So upper-middle class means just above the poverty line… or… a millionaire?
Homer Simpson lives in Evergreen Terrace, “the nicest upper-lower-middle class section of Springfield” and it seems that Princeton’s students (okay, and probably everyone else too) are equally confused. (more…)
One of the candidates I have to choose from
As one of many out-of-state students at Penn, I plan to submit an absentee ballot in this year’s general election.
I’ve put a lot of thought into deciding who I want to be president, and having recently made my decision, I was ready to vote and excited to have gotten my absentee ballot in the mail the other day.
I opened the envelope, and looked at the ballot. Crap.
Not only am I expected to vote for president and vice president, but also for two congressmen, 8 justices, a handful of county officials and six state constitutional amendments that I know nothing about.
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