I don’t know the origin of the phrase “patience is a virtue” (thank you lack of religious education) but it definitely wasn’t this guy. Anyway, we’ve waited so long for Election Day that I just thought I’d remind you, dear reader, that you might have to wait a little longer.
Hopefully by now you’ve emerged from your Halloween-induced incapacitation (diabetic coma or otherwise) refreshed and ready to fulfill your civic duty. But just know that all those thousands of new registered voters are going to make for some long lines at the polls.
While your Blackberry may allow you to settle any bet in seconds, the R1 gets you to the airport in minutes and Gia Pronto gets you that salad, well, pronto, the only thing that’s going to let you cast your ballot on November 4th is some good old fashioned waiting — that may last hours.
May I remind you that you’ve suffered longer waits.You’ve slept all night in the Palestra for basketball tickets. You’re planning to wait three years (or already did wait three years) to parade down Locust in a styrofoam hat. You patiently speculate for months as to who will have the honor of headlining Spring Fling. So what’s another few hours if it offers you the chance to vote in a swing state?
Wondering how to pass the time? Let me offer some suggestions.
- Still undecided? Take this opportunity to watch all three presidential debates in succession. Still not convinced? YouTube the vice presidents battling it out.
- Partake in a little bit of voter intimidation. Pick out a group that isn’t already routinely disenfranchised and ask them an imponderable.
- Pose as Nicolas Sarkozy and make a prank call to Sarah Palin.
- Whine.
- Whine loudly.
- Kick yourself for not voting absentee.
- Hassle the senior citizen who’s manning the operation. After all, she’s practically making minimum wage for her 14 hour day this Tuesday… make her earn it.
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