For all those with upcoming 21st birthdays: make sure your homework is done before you go out.

You don’t want to end up like Harvard student Carlo Garcia and get arrested.

During the first few hours of his 21st birthday, Garcia broke into the rooms of two of his female classmates. He went into their bedrooms, sat on their beds and asked them questions about their Principles of Economics problem set.

He stole one student’s homework, then went on to another student’s room and proceeded to lay down on her while she was sleeping. The student got up and forced Garcia out of her room, after which he was arrested.

There is a lesson for all of us in this story.

First, Harvard is full of crazies who work too hard and when attempting to finally get loose, end up going to the extreme. Second, don’t go out if you have work left to do then decide break into a classmate’s room and steal their problem set so you’ll have something to turn in.

But I probably don’t have to tell any Penn students that. We just break into each other’s rooms to steal electronics.

Not at Penn!

The DP reported today that Bobby Flay is interested in opening a “Bobby’s Burger Palace” in the Radian.

Dear Bobby Flay,

PLEASE DON’T.

The last thing Penn needs is another burger joint. We have Blaze in Houston, McDonald’s on 40th and A&W in the food court. Not to mention Top This which replaced Chic-Fil-A — worst decision EVER — in Commons and the other restaurants that feature burgers on their menus like Copa and Marathon.

Not only that, but I’m pretty sure the Pottruck-addicted students that run rampant on this campus will have no interest in eating at your “Palace”.

Why not bring in a Southwestern style restaurant like your own Mesa Grill, but cheaper? Unlike the abundance of burger joints, there is a real lack of good Tex-Mex restaurants in University City. Distrito may have just brought in some Mexican flavor, but tapas are not going to satisfy my desire for a hearty meal.

So, Mr. Flay, please keep your burger joint away.

xoxo,

Abby

Oprah thinks America is rude, and she doesn’t even live in Philadelphia.

She devoted an article in her magazine to ranting about America’s lack of etiquette. From aggressive driving to people who chew gum with their mouths open, Oprah has a lot of pet peeves when it comes to bad manners.

At Penn, rudeness abounds. We have worse problems then bad drivers and exhibitionist gum chewers. Students order food while drunk and neglect to hold doors for their peers.

But students are not the only people in the Penn community with bad manners. The native Philadelphians who serve Penn students need some lessons in etiquette as well.

For example, I was waiting in line in CVS yesterday to buy some cold medicine while two employees were talking at their cash registers. I was the only person in line and was waiting for one of the employees to offer to help me. One of the employees then said, “You can go to whichever person you want, or you can just stand there.”

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Jessica Yellin's hologram on CNN

Election Day has come and gone, and Americans have made history by electing the first African-American president. However, Barack Obama is not alone when it comes to making history.

CNN also broke new ground during the 2008 election… by transmitting “holograms” of correspondents Jessica Yellin and Will.i.am from remote locations to CNN’s New York studio.

While the technology behind the hologram is revolutionary, CNN’s “hologram” is actually not a hologram at all. Even though it looks like the hologram is beamed from the floor of the studio, the end result on your TV is actually a combination of studio and hologram feeds.

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Old school Penn football

Homecoming is tomorrow, which means alumni, free food on college green, and, oh yeah, the game!

The Homecoming game is the best football game of the year because people actually go to it. I remember going to my first game freshman year and being disappointed with the lack of attendance in addition to the lack of school spirit. Having a stadium that can fit 52,593 for a school of 10,000 undergrads is clearly not helping the problem.

Coming from a high school with enough spirit to share — even if our team was having a bad season — it was sad to see the lack of support the Penn football team was getting from students. In high school we would tailgate, the guys would paint their chests blue and red (go Patriots!), and we would all be ready to run onto the field when we won.

I am especially thankful that I had these experiences before I got to Penn. Otherwise, seeing the pictures of all my friends at Alabama or Auburn games would send me into a deep depression.

But Homecoming gives all of Penn’s school spirited the chance to feel not so alone. With all the alums back in town and midterms mostly over with, Franklin Field should be a little more full than usual. And if that doesn’t get people to the stadium, hopefully the free stuff will.

The sign in front of the Annenberg Public Policy Center construction site

Walking down Locust one day, I noticed the usual group of naive tourists taking pictures with Benjamin Franklin and his pee-stained bench.

But something seemed out of place this time. No, it wasn’t the nationality of the tourists. They were Asian. Nor was it the color or the bench. It was still pee-stained. Instead, there was a little red sign planted next to Benny’s bench.

Having never noticed this sign before, I took a closer look. Apparently, if I called 215-525-1562 and entered a number from one to ten, I would Discover Penn. Interesting.

A little Googling led me to a site from Facilities and Real Estate Services that shows a map of all the sites that have a Discover Penn sign. I decided to call the number and listen to the descriptions of all the locations if not to learn more about Penn, then to listen to Amy Gutmann’s smooth voice.

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Don't let these cute little snowflakes fool you. They are evil!

It’s the end of October, and I’m already freezing.

Having lived either in the South or southern hemisphere all my life, being at Penn has exposed me to really cold weather for the first time. Having — barely — survived two Philly winters, I feel that I should bestow the knowledge I’ve gained about how to keep warm to those of you who are experiencing cold weather for the first time.

Here goes:

1. Don’t leave your room. Ever. Not for class or even Thanksgiving break. If you leave it, there is no way to guarantee that you will not get cold this winter.

2. Drink. If you’d rather not do it alone, you can pretty much bank on the fact that frat parties are going to be warm. FYI, I hear that scotch is especially good for getting rid of a cold.

3. Accept Jesus as your Savior. His light will shine on you and keep you warm until the end of days, at which time you will ascend into the Kingdom of Heaven!

4. Don’t wear a coat at night. Especially if you’re on your way to a party. It will force you to walk faster and thus increase your body temperature.

5. Read fashion magazines. Looking at the resort collections will have you feeling the Caribbean sunshine in no time!

One of the candidates I have to choose from

As one of many out-of-state students at Penn, I plan to submit an absentee ballot in this year’s general election.

I’ve put a lot of thought into deciding who I want to be president, and having recently made my decision, I was ready to vote and excited to have gotten my absentee ballot in the mail the other day.

I opened the envelope, and looked at the ballot. Crap.

Not only am I expected to vote for president and vice president, but also for two congressmen, 8 justices, a handful of county officials and six state constitutional amendments that I know nothing about.

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Do you, Mrs. Fields?

Oh Facebook. Monopolizer of procrastination, apparent facilitator of statutory rape and, wait, catalyst of campus politics?

Ditching its reputation for superficial communication via bumper stickers, Facebook is starting to play a role in Undergraduate Assembly policy.

At last Sunday’s UA meeting, representatives discussed a proposal that would extend the move-out deadline in the spring to allow students more time to pack after finals.

The UA started working on the proposal after a Facebook group was created that expressed students’ frustration with the previous move-out deadline of 16 hours after finals. The UA is proposing that students get 40 hours after finals to pack up their stuff and leave to let Housing and Conference Services pick up their trash.

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