A picture of some of Florida

Well, Florida finally did something right.

Last month, a circuit court judge in Florida made the decision to allow a gay man by the name Wayne LaRue Smith to legally adopt a son.

The boy had been living with Mr. Smith (and his partner Daniel) as a foster child for seven years; apparently seven years is all it takes for a Florida court to realize that you’re fit to adopt.

But the decision, though victorious for me and my proud homosexual race, wasn’t what caught my attention when I read about this business. (I have no interest in adopting any angsty, pubescent 12-year-old right now.)

Apparently, the 12-year-old’s teacher showed up in court to testify to how great the gay dads were as parents, and she had this to say:

“I must confess, the first year I had him [in class], knowing he was of gay parents, I looked for things, and I found nothing.”

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My former favorite website

Well, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, Facebook decided back in July to change to a “cleaner” user interface.

The new interface is pretty much equivalent to going on my computer, typing in www.facebook.com, and having a stranger come up to me and smear shit all over my screen.

And I’m not alone on this. I actually have about 2.5 million (Facebook) friends who miss their old pages just as much as I do. Of course, our hatred for this version isn’t stopping all 2.5 million of us from using Facebook, but it certainly gives us all something to complain about.

There was nothing wrong with the old Facebook. Sure, innovation and creativity are always a plus, but there was something about the old site that made me fall in love with it two years ago: Everything was on the same page.

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They’re both getting shut down in November. Hahaha. I hate her.

Seriously though, the economy is crumbling, Roger Federer is the #2 tennis player in the world, and now, the final sign of the apocalypse is upon us: Total Request Live is going off the air.

And it’s about damn time. I remember when I first started watching Total Request (before it was Live). It was on in the evening, and it was part of a three-show lineup: Artist’s Cut, Say What (you may remember Say What Karaoke, a popular spinoff), and Total Request. It was 1997, and I was a mere boy of nine.

In 1998, Total Request merged with MTV Live, and Total Request Live was born.

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Dress made of Twizzlers

I love Project Runway.

I know what you’re thinking; all of your gay friends love Project Runway, so why would Anthony be any different? Well this homo is going to tell you why he’s different.

I don’t love “PR” because I long to wear the contestants’ custom lady-dresses, and I don’t love the show because all but one of its male contestants are homosexuals. No, I tune in to Bravo every Wednesday at 9pm because Project Runway is the funniest show that cable television has to offer.

If you think I’m kidding, you’ve clearly never seen the show, which follows the same format every week:

1) The designers get a ridiculous task: this can range from being asked to make a dress out of car parts to having to knowingly design a tacky outfit for a drag queen.

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Sousaphone

There is no greater torture in the world than having to sit through a SAC meeting.

Student Activities Council (or SAC, if you like to talk dirty) exists to apportion funds amongst all of the student activities at Penn. How much money each group gets depends on the SAC Constitution outlines and the judgment of SAC-Exec, the 9-member student board.

Every month, I am forced to sit in on the SAC General Body Meeting. Upon entry, one representative from each group on campus is given a magical pink sheet with their group’s name on it. His or her job is to hold the sheet up when the general body is asked to vote on whatever issue is at hand. Hundreds of students fill in the seats of Cohen Hall or the Chem building, and for many, sleep ensues.

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So close, yet so far...

I’ve been bored of presidential politics since before I could even vote. For the past eight years (since i was 12), I’ve seen towers burn to the ground, hurricane disasters left unattended, and the word “dollar” become synonymous with “toilet paper.” While war continues raging and homosexual couples lack equal marital rights, it was clear to me well before I was voting that anything was better than a Republican administration.

It took me all of ten minutes on my birthday earlier this year to realize just how much the presidential election was impeding on my daily life. That day was on April 22nd, and I was sitting behind a curtain in Houston Hall, voting in the presidential primary.

I’d be lying if I said I recall the last day that went by when I didn’t hear or think or see something about this election. I just want to go cast my final vote, sit around with my friends, and have absolutely nothing to talk about. That’s the way my life should be.

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Unfortunately for the class of 2012, they couldn’t pass on Convocation this year. If it wasn’t for that big, capital M in the circle on the NSO program, they could all have gotten a head start on gathering into packs, eating in dining halls and sleeping with their next-door neighbors.

I had the pleasure of singing at last night’s Convocation with the Penny Loafers, and lucky for the Loafers, we ended up being the best segment of the night.

The University kicked off the hour-long celebratory bash with the agonizing faculty stroll-in, and once the old people were seated, the class of 2012 got to hear about what other people wrote for their admissions essays. Riveting. From running for president to swimming for Olympic gold medals, Penn’s class of 2012 certainly got creative with their 217th pages of their autobiographies. What big dreams we have, freshmen!

I have news for you, Interim Dean of Admissions Eric Kaplan: None of them cared about anything you said last night. Half of these kids were admitted in 2007 and don’t remember what they wrote, and the other half had a great view of the dessert tent.

Somehow, they next let President Amy Gutmann near the microphone.

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