It’s Microsoft!

Finally the School of Arts and Sciences made up its mind. A casual 72 days late. Microsoft won’t launch the new email system until the fall but having a reliable and efficient email service that can store more than 10 emails at a time is most definitely progress.

The service will offer all kinds of Microsoft goodies — blogging space, photo sharing, an online calendar and, unsurprisingly, a messenger service. AIM rules the US, and Microsoft wants a piece of the cookie with its very good Messenger Live service (widely used in Europe and Australia); but it’s like trying to oust Facebook — it ain’t never gonna happen.

But hidden away, deep in the text of the announcement email sent out yesterday, was a little gem, a savior for the modern student. We will be able to file-share, free from the tyrannical freedom swatter also known as the RIAA . And of course it’s slightly less self-righteous partner in crime, the MPAA.

We were told yesterday that as part of the “Penn Live” service we will have access to “FolderShare, a private peer-to-peer network that allows users to synchronize files between multiple devices and share files with other student users” without fear of retribution from the University of some external organization.

Files up to 2GB can be shared. That’s a lot. An episode of Lost is approximately 350MB. A movie is rarely more than 1GB. A music album is usually under 100MB. My entire photo collection, which is extensive and covers the last four years of my life, is only just over 2GB. FolderShare will allow us to swap media across the entire campus, untraceable by freedom-crushing organizations and without the risk of being sent a subpoena or a threatening letter. No more $4000 fines on this campus. No more unnecessary intimidation here.

And let’s not forget how much easier this will make group work. No more attachment-laden emails being sent back and forth endlessly — FolderShare will sync your files instantly.

Fileshare is not quite the Limewire/Kazaa/BitTorrent service you can get globally online. We won’t have access to millions of the latest films, TV shows, chart music and computer software. But we will have access to each other. And in a college of nearly 20,000 students, that’s some considerable. It’s free and it’s ours.

Other schools across North America have had similar setups for some time. Penn has now joined the march towards the free sharing of media and I congratulate those responsible.

File sharing is the future. The sooner the RIAA and MPAA realize that the better. For them and for us.

Freaks of the Beat (Jeff Hammond/DP)

I ate fried Oreo cookies for the first, and most likely the last, time. I saw the Mask & Wig club in the flesh (literally). I stroked a camel, sat on a pony and held a lamb — in a frat house. I ate lots of hotdogs. I watched lesbians lip-sync the Backstreet Boys. I forgot about my econ project and the four finals lingering on the horizon. I had bubble-tea. I saw the Penn Softball team beat Cornell for the first time in, well, a long time.

Life was good. The clouds were overhead but no water fell from the sky. I flung from Thursday through Sunday. But now the heavens have opened and it seems a week’s worth of pent up precipitation is being plunged upon us by a vengeful god, cleansing us of our fling sins. My econ project is still due and now way behind schedule and my head aches with the blurred memories of my one and only Fling. Life ain’t so good no more.

I don’t know what I expected. I met and bettered my fling dreams. I was given a license to fling, — I took full advantage. Beer and burgers? Yes please and double helpings of everything. The event was well organized, the live acts were pretty good for the most part (and if they weren’t then at least they were naked), and the fried Oreos actually tasted pretty good (although $5 for a heart attack seems a little pricey.)

It seems the Penn campus awoke en masse this morning satisfied, dehydrated and reaching for the aspirin. So I guess congratulations are in order to the guys and gals over at SPEC.

But now I have my econ to get back to, and the weather outside is a pretty accurate reflection of my mood. This is our collective comedown, as we say goodbye to Fling and hello to finals.

It was the best of times. It is the worst of times.

Let the airplane soaaaaar!

Globalization is an oft scorned phenomenon. Claims abound that the ‘flattening’ of the world only benefits the rich, leaving the majority of the world, the average consumer, counting the costs. Recently though the EU has scored double points, placing the benefits of globalization not just in the pockets of European but also of Americans. It’s a lesson that the rest of the world, including Washington, could learn from.

I wrote a few weeks ago about new legislation being forced through by the EU to ‘open the skies’ for new competition in transatlantic travel. UK-US flight paths , formerly held exclusively by four airlines, but one of the most profitable routes in global air travel, the has recently been blown wide open. As a result air fares are set to plummet. Just today, RyanAir (which flies all across Europe for fares as low as €0.99) announced they aim to fly from London to Rhode Island, New York and Baltimore for as little as €7 ($14) . Get that? $14! Your flight to Europe could soon be cheaper than your cab ride to Philadelphia International! Suddenly the formerly mighty four aren’t sitting so comfortably. But this is great for us as consumers — this is globalization.

The EU has also been after the airwaves, by attacking European cell-phone networks for their outrageously high ‘roaming’ fees. A call to the UK from Spain could cost up to €1 ($2) a minute, while the charge to the network provider is negligible. Seeing this absurdity, the EU moved to enforce changes and yesterday voted overwhelmingly in favour of reduced costs, cutting charges by up to 80 percent and setting a cap on all European call costs. This is the way EU should work; this is the whole point of the ‘laissez-faire’ European Union. This is globalization doing its job.

The US and others around the world could and should learn from this. Washington shrugged off new opportunities by refusing to open up Dulles and Reagan National Airports to new European carriers, fearing the competition would damage domestic airlines but ignoring the huge benefits it would bring to US consumers. Soon though, because of this new agreement, Penn students will all have cheap and easy access to Europe. And British students (me) will be able to use their phones anywhere on the continent with little extra charge, another victory for globalization.

So here, today, I take my hat off to you, European Union. Because of you, I can get a job anywhere in Europe without any of the diplomatic hassles present elsewhere in the world. I can fly to France for next to nothing without worrying about visas or immigration checks, and I will soon be able to make cheap phone calls while there. Not to mention my €7 flights to New York.

So the sun has gallivanted off into the sunset, as it’s prone to do, and left behind a climate of cold, rain, cloud, rain, cold and, well, cold. This time last week I was thanking God I’d come on exchange to Penn. The weather was glorious, the sun was beating down on my pasty English brow, Locust Walk was rampant with annoying people giving out flyers — summer was on its way. Or so I thought.

Wednesday brought untold misery and a significant amount of rain. My feet got wet, I was late for class, it was a bad day. And yet it got worse. I went to the baseball on Thursday but had lost all feeling in my toes by the 6th innings and had to leave (the Phillies were 8-1 down to the Braves by this point so I really wasn’t missing much). Temperatures plummeted to the low 30s; that summer I’d so confidently predicted seemed a long way off.

So what for Fling? The biggest Penn party of the year is just days away. Will we have sunshine, will we have rain, will we have 57 inches of snow like Phoenix Farms in Michigan (sucks for them)? I decided to use my investigative genius to find out what lies in store for us. You can thank me later.

So ladies and gentlemen of the jury, here is the evidence. It’s going to be mostly sunny till Wednesday when things take a turn for the worse. Scattered showers will provide something of a warm-up act for the thunderstorms we should expect on Thursday (providing a perfect excuse to skip class and start the weekend early). Friday sees some respite with cloud and wind but a reasonable chance of a dry day. Ben Folds need not worry about his hair getting messy in the rain. Saturday will be another day without sun, but an average temperature of 55 degrees means the hordes should be out in force, taking advantage of the free food, smuggled beer and drunk freshmen girls in the quad. The rain may however return on Saturday night so make sure you’re at an indoor party. Either that or make sure everyone wears white. Your choice.

So while it’s not going to be Baywatch weather and there’s little chance of seeing President Gutmann in her swimsuit, Friday and Saturday should, for the most part, be dry. We’ve been given a “licence to fling” apparently so let’s make the most of it. Eat, drink, be merry, because in a week’s time all you’ll have to look forward to are finals. And that sucks.

Ben Folds on campus=sold out crowds. Duh! (Wabash College)

SPEC has sold up to 3000 tickets for the Ben Folds/Third Eye Blind fling concert so far this year. The first 500 sold for $20 a pop and the remaining tickets went for $25 A certain number of tickets were held back for the day of the gig at $30. Let’s assume — I’m being generous to SPEC here — that they kept 500 to sell on the last day (although rumor has it only 2400 have been sold thus far so there’s a little hope for us all). The above ticket pricings bring about a total revenue of $75000.

Not bad. Or so you’d think.

In fact, SPEC massively underestimated the potential draw of a Ben Folds/Third Eye Blind lineup. By doing so, and by not having any kind of contingency plan, they are missing out on potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars. Wracked with fear by the failure of past years (although you’d think any sensible student would be able to tell the difference in pull power between Sonic Youth and Ben Folds), SPEC booked Wynn Common which can only hold 3000 people and, which is essentially a glorified concrete rectangle.

The demand for tickets is still huge. Groups of Penn kids stood all day at the SPEC spot on the Walk, hoping that someone would trundle by and say “hey, you know what, the concert’s not sold out after all, who wants tickets?” But for all their hope, it wasn’t to be. The gig was gone. Tickets sold quicker than Britney’s hair on eBay. SPEC screwed up big time.

Considering the significant demand and the speed with which the tickets sold out, it’s well within the realm of possibility that SPEC could have sold 5000+ tickets. That’s an extra $50000 SPEC could have earned. And with increased demand and burgeoning exclusivity comes the momentum factor–soon everyone would’ve wanted tickets, who’d want to miss out on the gig of the century after all? There’s no telling how many students would have ended up buying tickets.

Franklin Field was the obvious choice for this gig. SPEC should have booked both Franklin Field and Wynn Court and then chosen the venue based on ticket sales. The women’s Lacross team plays on Saturday at noon but that’s the only potential sporting clash. And I doubt they’ll have 100 let alone 5000 turning up to watch them play. This concert should take priority. What happened to the good old days of Wyclef?

SPEC has missed the money boat big time. At least $50000, and possibly over $100000, of extra revenue was potentially available from this concert, money that could’ve been spent on improving the Spring Fling 2007 experience for us all, bringing more A-List speakers to Penn, and hiring an even more prestigious act to play at Spring Fling next year.

But the committee got it wrong. And we all poorer for it.

Lookin’ fine in the academic’s uniform. I think it’s a sign.

The University has declared an open season for potential faculty members. Hey you, Kate Moss, there’s a spot open to teach ‘PSYC 262: Body Image, Psychopathology & Treatment. Fancy it?

Kal Penn, who starred as Taj Mahal Badalandabad (no racial stereotypes there, phew!) in the college comedy epic Van Wilder, once said his dream was to “smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand.” Just like Donny Osmond, Amy Gutmann has made Kal’s ‘Great American Dream’ come true. He’s coming to campus in spring 2008 to teach “Images of Asian Americans in the Media” (go Taj Mahal) and “Contemporary American Teen Films” (which are essentially soft porn - could this be a possible cross-over for women’s studies?). Melissa Lamb once famously mouthed the words, “and Taco Bell might make you ill but my taco’s certified”–does ‘Taj’ have his first offer?

Anyway, the imminent arrival of Kal Penn got me thinking about who else could be brought to Penn to enrich us with their real-life experiences. With this new and innovative academic recruitment policy, the opportunities are endless; the world of Z list celebrities is our oyster. Screw “I’m a Celebrity (no really), watch me ice-skate”, come teach at Penn instead!

After pondering the options for countless hours, I came up with a couple of attractive options for future ‘professors’:

George W. Bush: ‘PSCI 275: Muslim Political Thought’. Who better to teach us than the man in the middle, the guy with the gusto, the imam himself? If he could find Penn on his satellite maps in the situation room. I think its right next to the elusive weapons of mass destruction. Alternatively we could offer him ‘PSCI 281-Intro to Democratic Theory’, although he might be better off taking that one himself.

Britney Spears: the opportunities here are endless for this distinguished and talented young lady, but I decided on ‘PSYC 125: Drugs, Brain and Mind’. Brit’s had a tough time recently — she followed in the footsteps of William Shatner only to discover the world of wigs isn’t so glamorous after all. When she’s not stepping out of limos, legs spread, no panties, she’s often found in a club about as sober as Jimmi Hendrix at Woodstock. Oh, wait. The girl has seen it all. And she’s a lover of the arts too, “I always listen to ‘NSYNC’s Tearin’ Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra”. What better role model?

This is a new and exciting era upon which the University is embarking. No longer are PhDs and tenures the benchmark. No longer are we shackled by universal academic qualifications. All one needs to teach in the Ivy League are “experiences that make [you] uniquely qualified to teach.” Dubya and Britney certainly have those. Bring ‘em on!

British Airways may not be flying so high for so long.

Hoist the flag and start the band for I am the bearer of good news. And not only that, I bring proof that globalization has benefits.

The US and the UK, encouraged by the pimp of laissez-faire, the EU, have agreed to an ‘Open-Skies’ accord. This agreement/deal/pact means that no longer will British Airways, Virgin Atlantic, American Airways and United Airlines dominate trans-Atlantic routes. Today (well, in March 2008 but who’s counting) we herald in a new era of nearly-perfect competition in trans-Atlantic air travel. And we, you, us, the consumers are set to benefit handsomely.

With the ‘Open-Skies’ deal set to launch in the Spring of next year, BMI, Lufthansa, Continental, Northwestern and Delta are all keen to commence flights of their own, which will bring new competition to the market and force down prices. Currently, the only direct flight from Philadelphia to London Heathrow is through BA. I just flew back from London on BA yesterday – the prices are rather expensive and in-flight environment is poor.

But fear not, for Terry Trippler, airline expert at U.S. travel club myvacationpassport.com told MSNBC last week that things are going to change. “As it gets into its real swing, we will have fare wars. It’s going to get bloody.” And by ‘bloody’ he means cheap, not gory like the 300, which, by the way, is a very entertaining movie and well worth a couple of hours of your time. But I digress. Back to the skies.

The biggest changes are set to come in the premium classes of travel. Business Class flights often cost 5 or 6 times the price of an economy class ticket, mainly due to a lack of flight options and a reluctance on the part of the businessman to make stops in order to lower the price. Convenience, up to now, has come at a price. But no more.

And the price drops aren’t to be confined to the luxury of upper-class fares. Those without the money or the parents to fund such excess will also to benefit from lower-prices and greater choice of flight times. The 7 hour red-eye to London has never been so appealing.

So for all the international kids here at Penn, your parents can sleep easy, safe in the knowledge that they’ll have some extra cash to burn on golf clubs, croissants and/or summers in the south of France. And for the Americans here who like to travel, the doors to Europe are more open than ever before. You will soon be out of excuses for never having climbed the Eiffel Tower, visited the Coliseum or seen the Crown Jewels.

Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, said on Friday that his government already is at “war” with dissidents (AP Photo).

With QPenn 2007 just around the corner, it’s worth noting that the rights we take for granted in the US are a lifetime away for millions of people across the globe — nowhere more so than in Zimbabwe. There, male homosexuality is illegal and the government has organised anti-gay campaigns against both men and women. But that’s not all the people of Zimbabwe have to live through every day.

Imagine opposition leaders such as Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama having their skulls cracked and their legs broken for holding a protest against President Bush. Imagine wanting to move abroad but being told by the government that they don’t have the paper to make you a passport. And even if they did, they wouldn’t let you leave anyway Imagine gas prices increasing so fast that by the end of the week you can no longer afford the bus to work.

Welcome to the formerly “Great” Zimbabwe, a country that is no longer great (and indeed hardly functioning) thanks to the disastrous 27 year regime of Robert Mugabe.

Zimbabwe, formerly known as Rhodesia, was a British colony until 1980 when Mugabe wrested control from the white colonizers. He promised a stable and prosperous future for the black citizens of Zimbabwe. However, over a period of almost three decades, Mugabe has transformed the country from an economically powerful exporter of tobacco and cotton into a desolate land, crippled by economic mismanagement.

By nationalizing the commercial farmland confiscated from white land-owners and giving it to his black government officials, Mugabe single-handedly destroyed the bread and butter of the Zimbabwean economy. Gripped by paranoia, Mugabe continues to purge all opposition. Last week Morgan Tsvangirai, leader of the opposition MDC party (Movement for Democratic Change), was arrested along with a number of others. He was beaten so severely that his skull was cracked. His crime was protesting against Mugabe.

The UN and much of the western world has been critical of Mugabe’s regime for some time, but done little to curb his dictatorial tendencies. South Africa and other surrounding countries have been toothless, choosing quiet diplomacy and arguing that Zimbabwe should sort out its own problems. But the recent brutalities struck a chord across the developed world and brought about a marked change of position by South Africa, with Deputy Foreign Minister Aziz Pahad calling on Harare to respect the law and the rights of all political parties. Ghana went further, describing the situation in Zimbabwe as “an embarrassment”.

Many see this as the beginning of the end for Mugabe. Fellow bloggers around the world hope this to be the case. But there is a very real possibility that he will hold on to power for many years yet. This should not be allowed. The UN needs to demonstrate that it is not just a diplomatic show-pony. Increased pressure should be put upon Mugabe’s government to hold elections and allow the election of a new Zimbabwean President.

It’s unlikely this will happen soon, and even if the UN does start to exert more pressure on Mugabe, the process of finding a replacement will no doubt be long and painful. But with the people so oppressed and downtrodden, change is unlikely to come from within unless the Zimbabwean army abandons its current loyalty to Mugabe. The future of Zimbabwe now lies in the hands of the UN.

So, if and when you see the posters, read the hand-outs and attend the talks of QPenn this week, remember how far behind Zimbabwe is. Devoid of any kind of human rights, the people need help soon. It’s already too late.

Bartender at Senor Frogs.

Ernesto is the bartender at Senor Frogs in Cancun. He pours thousands of beers a night for the crowds of American students intent on making the most of their open bar wristbands. To me, it seems a thankless job. Ernesto receives what he calls a “normal wage” but he is at the mercy of a bar full of drunken kids, all shouting at him, waving dollar bills in his face, demanding more alcohol. To Ernesto, this is a fine living — he likes his job.

It’s all about the tips, you see. Tips are the unwritten rule of the Cancun nightlife. When 500 people are lined up at the bar, the only way to decide who to serve is who’s the most generous. Slip Ernesto $5. You’ll be first every time.

“Tips” he shouts at the army of alcoholics, banging his fist on the small brown tips box on the bar. Not everyone obliges — a significant number just wait around until there’s an opening. But those who add weight to the box provide Ernesto with his major source of income. A few guys pull out 50 peso notes ($5) and drop them in the box. They instantly have more beers than they can carry. You Ernesto’s back, he’ll scratch yours.

But it’s not just the bartenders who benefit from Spring Break. Many hotels charge a ‘convenience fee’ for bringing a “guests” upstairs after a night out. These fees range from 100-500 pesos ($10-$50) depending on how accommodating the hotel security guards are feeling. Haggling can normally bring about an amicable conclusion to the evening.

My security guy didn’t want to give his real name but agreed to being called George (he liked the name). George loves his job because of all the “boom-boom” and the “nice ladies” (which led me to wonder how much of the “ladies” he saw and whether he might be secretly watching any amorous adventures taking place in the hotel). George gets good tips, sees some funny sights, and he goes home with stories to tell his friends. “Spring Break is fun” George repeated, “lots of people, lots of boom-boom”. He liked his boom-boom.

Spring Break is, as I commented in Part I, a messy, alcohol-fuelled week of hedonism. And many see it as an unnecessary invasion of Latin-America by the cash-flashing collegiate population of the US. But Ernesto and George both see it differently. For them it’s an opportunity. Like vultures, they swoop down on the rich pickings that come, fresh from the airport, bearing bulging wallets and a hunger for the outrageous.

Even a female dancer in the Bulldog Club seemed content with the setup when I spoke to her outside on the street. “Do I like being a dancer during Spring Break? Yes, of course. I make people happy.”

The writer on assignment

“What do you think of the war in Iraq” I inquired of a girl I met last week. She was from Texas and an obvious Republican so I braced myself, but not for this response. “Kill ‘em all” she shouted, “and when they’re gone we get the rest of the Arabs”. I know right? But this was Cancun and this was Spring Break 2007. There was worse to come.

Cancun is a strange place. On one hand it’s a soaring oasis, a glorious coastline of beaches made from talcum powder and water so entrancing you could almost drink it. On the other hand it’s a hedonistic metropolis, a harem of scantily clad youths baying for beer and almost effortless late-night escapades. There were no first dates here, no expensive dinners. It was easier to get laid than it was to get a taxi (apparently).

I’d never done Spring Break before. I had visions of what it could be and expectations of what it would be but nothing prepared me for what was to come. This was no picnic. Free drinks started at 11am and finished when the clubs closed, which more often than not was as the sun rose glistening over the crashing waves of the Gulf of Mexico. Akon and Fergie echoed throughout the day from the giant speakers located in bars and restaurants across the center of town. And the people, oh the people &mdash without them I wouldn’t have had the half as much fun.

Being at Penn has given me a somewhat warped view of what the average American college kid is like. I now know the truth. They are not all upper-middle class liberals with a yearning for knowledge and a rational outlook on world events. They are far more than that. Monolithic jocks strutted around like silverback gorillas while pre-tanned sorority sisters (”ow ow!”) paraded their elasticated bodies in the afternoon sun. This was not Penn. This was not even close to Penn. This was Cancun, Spring Break 2007 &mdash no prisoners taken.

The stories I have, the people I met, the things that I saw… they will never leave me. But I will share them with you. And you will laugh and you will cry and hopefully they’ll leave a smile on your face on an otherwise drab day at Penn.