Well, that’s it. According to the “expert” in (and inventor of the concept of) sex addiction, Patrick Carnes, most Penn Students are sex addicts. (You can take the test here to find out if your own thoughts and habits qualify you.) After all, just looking at boredatpenn.net shows that many Penn students “find themselves preoccupied with sexual thoughts,” “feel controlled by their sexual desires,” and definitely “have used the internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online.”

And anyone trying to get in good with a rising Whartonite has “traded sex for money or gifts.”

Apparently, even dating around is a bad thing — the survey asks if the taker has ever “maintained multiple romantic or sexual partnerships at the same time”. But according to an MSNCB column this week, it’s pretty easy to score as a sex addict using the test, and it might not mean much.
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Oh, 34th Street shoutouts. How you show the maturity, sophistication, and integrity that got all of us into this school.

Well, okay, at least we’re witty.

The thing that struck me about the shoutouts this week was the commentary on Penn girls. Granted, few shoutouts are written to make people feel warm and fuzzy inside, but the 27-line attack on our physical appearance, when coupled with our apparent “pathological materialism and runner-up trophy wife aesthetics,” felt a bit over the top. Even if it was pretty nonsensical, some part of me (my primordial forehead? my turkey tits? what do these things MEAN?) felt like I should be offended.

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In the Brown Daily Herald last week, columnist Renata Sago objectively and unbiasedly wrote about “hooking up,” referring to it as “trite and tasteless.” She even mentioned the incredibly high possibility of getting oral herpes from making out with a stranger. (Luckily, no one in a relationship ever has oral herpes.) Fellow sophomore Sam Loomis responded yesterday with a defense of random hookups, citing arguments by John Stuart Mill and Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Only in the Ivies.

You might be unaware of this, but having done some investigatory research, I’ve discovered that Penn also has this “hookup culture”. Whether it’s making out at frat parties or the surprisingly complicated arrangement of friends with benefits, Penn students regularly show how little time and regard they have for actual “relationships.” It’s either long-term married bliss or casual, fun . . . mutual enjoyment.

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In an article in the DP today, the Penn Christian Association’s Reverend Beverly Dale was quoted as she discussed Christianity, sexuality, and Penn. I don’t hear those three words together especially often, but I definitely have seen them grouped together before.

I had the good fortune to wander, by way of random listserve, into a Queer Christian Fellowship discussion last semester. RevBev herself sat at the head of the table and, over a hearty homemade QCF-sponsored dinner, led attendees in a talk about the Bible and homosexuality. Equipped with Bibles and multiple texts presenting different interpretations of key passages, she explained exactly how faith, gay identity, and the Bible all fit together.

RevBev serves as an example to other leaders on campus. If there’s any way to reach Penn students, it’s certainly through food and good, solid arguments.
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Remember the prostitute, raped at gunpoint, whose trial ended with the judge dropping all rape charges and converting them to “theft of services”?

The story’s not over. After a blowup in the blogosphere, Philadelphia activists began a grassroots movement supporting the disbarment of Municipal Judge Theresa Carr Deni. On Tuesday, Philadelphia Bar Association Chancellor Jane Leslie Dalton issued a statement that spoke forcefully against Deni’s decision, stating that “The victim has been brutalized twice in this case: first by the assailants, and now by the court.”

So now there’s controversy over Deni’s ruling and over Dalton’s statement as the rest of the bar reacts. Personally, I’m just glad that someone in the system managed to stand up and say how ridiculous and painfully biased the decision was. If it stands, it sets an awful precedent.

With the myriad shootings and other violent crimes that have recently taken place, the Philadelphia judiciary doesn’t need to give its population more excuses to commit crimes. Kudos to Dalton for her strong statement, and kudos to everyone who sent letters of complaint to the bar. Justice still has a chance.

Feminists. Unattractive, sexually frustrated, single lesbians who rant and yell and generally disrupt the lives of those around them. Right?

Apparently not. A new study at Rutgers University found that women with male feminist partners had healthier heterosexual relationships; the same was true of men with feminist partners, with the added perk of greater sexual satisfaction. Feminists were no more likely than non-feminist women to be single, lesbian, or sexually unattractive.

You heard me right. Date a feminist, have a good sex life. And even a healthy, stable relationship.

Break out the winter coats; a month and a half late, it’s officially fall. Cold weather, of course, means a change in habits. Now that the initial fall studying/gym rush has ended, Penn students are curled up in their beds, trying unsuccessfully to motivate themselves to roll out of bed and schlump over to class. Luckily, a lot of lectures are recorded, so you can listen to them later.

On your computer, right? Maybe your ipod? Or your hipster too-cool-for-an-ipod mp3 player?

Or maybe on your vibrator? That’s right, My Little Secret LLC created a vibrator that allows you to record audio and load it onto the toy itself. The Talking Head, while released in February, is definitely less of a spring distraction and more of a fall/winter/midterm season accessory.

So don’t feel bad about missing class. Wait for the lecture to go up, download it, jump into bed and create some positive associations with econ, neuroscience, or whatever else strikes your aural fancy. Almost makes you look forward to midterms, huh?

Over at Harvard, Sex and the Ivy blogger Lena Chen and Janie Fredell, co-president of the True Love Revolution, discussed sex and relationships on Thursday. Interestingly enough, it looks like no one came out of it persuaded of anything.

I’m not really sure why they bothered. It’s like putting a miniskirted Richard Dawkins in a room with the Pope– they both have strong opinions, and a polite hour-long question-and-answer session isn’t going to change anyone’s mind.

It could’ve been interesting if they’d mixed it up. Maybe with students from different parts of the US, other nations, and some fun religions (a Mormon, a Hindu, and a Jew walk into a sex panel…) they could’ve had a good discussion, but two complete opposites are no fun.

While I didn’t make it to Harvard to attend the event, I’ve learned a few things from the excerpts over at IvyGate. Namely that all women, virgins or not, can unite over “battery-powered objects.” Who knew?

P.S. Check out the comments at IvyGate for an interesting debate on (I kid you not) the science of the Biblical flood and the accuracy of the Bible. Random.

Imagine if the Amish ran General Electric. If Jon Stewart suddenly became Commander-in-Chief. If Dick Cheney were in charge of, oh, I don’t know, fun.

What do all of these scary scenarios have in common? They all involve someone whose personal views get in the way of doing an important job. While the Amish are great at cheese and religion and Jon Stewart is hilarious (and Dick Cheney… has good aim?), it would be a supremely bad idea to have them run an institution whose goals they don’t agree with.

So why, for the love of anything at all, is anti-contraception, anti-abortion, anti-divorce, anti-CPS, generally evil Family Research Council member Susan Orr now in charge of family planning?

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I’m pretty cynical about a lot of things. The justice system? Definitely. But every once in a while, I read a story that just leaves me speechless with disbelief.

Seriously, wtf?!.

Essentially, a woman placed an ad on Craigslist and met the guy who answered in North Philly. They negotiated a deal for an hour of oral and vaginal sex (for one hundred and fifty dollars), but then he and two friends raped her at gunpoint instead. Since she consented to have sex with the man beforehand and didn’t get paid, Municipal Judge Teresa Carr Deni decided that it wasn’t rape or assault, just “theft of services.”

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