(Reuters)

it’s December 6th. let’s recap.

The election is over (unless you’re looking to 2008 like I am); The Screwdriver Mugger is still at large; Papers, papers, papers, papers, papers.

So that would pretty much leave one thing to fixate on until we pack it up and blow Penn a kiss for three weeks:

Lindsay Lohan, obviously.

Little Miss Lohan has begun attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, as her publicist seems eager to tell any winsome shlub with a computer and tabloid byline (especially the British). Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the “anonymous” in AA usually imply that you don’t publicize your attendance? Clearly celebridom is a galaxy far beyond my intellectual grip.

Smarminess aside, I wonder: how severe is Lohan’s “alcoholism” at the age of 20? Her publicist said she was attending AA meetings, but didn’t say she was actually an alcoholic. It’s a semantic distinction, but still. Moreover, how much worse can her drinking be than other 20-year-olds around the country?

So Lohan goes out five or six or seven nights a week, drinks too much, shows up late for work, wears oversized sunglasses to mask her “exhaustion” and hits the repeat button at 10 pm. In the eyes of some people, that seems like partying too hard. For the rest of us, that sounds like college.

I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to say for the record right here: Lindsay Lohan does not have a drinking problem–any more than the rest of us. She goes out every night because she doesn’t know what else to do with her money. There are plenty of folks like that here. Zetes, anyone?

To the average adult, she’s being irresponsible. To peers, she’s living her formidable years in much the same way the rest of us are. The differences are that she’s famous and we’re not. We have to go to class the next day and she doesn’t.

Maybe what’s necessary is an over-arching definition of alcoholism, so that we can all self-diagnose how perilous our drinking habits are. Till then we tip our cups and salute you, Lindsay.