For 21 years, I awaited my god-given right to consume alcohol legally. Unfortunately, most of the time, I consume in Pennsylvania–land of Commonwealth government rules and a lack of a free market. Last week, while driving through Delaware, I found huge savings on wine. Since there is no sales tax in Delaware and the stores aren’t all owned by the state there is competition between stores and the prices are much lower. In Pennsylvania, sans competition and plus sales tax, our liquor selection is horrible and the prices areoutrageous.

Why do we accept this fact of life by living in an antiquated commonwealth? At our neighborhood liquor store at 41st and Market the credit card machine has been down so the store is currently a cash only institution. I’ve never seen so many angry people in my life until as I saw waiting in line watching people be told that they can only use the dough in their wallet to pay. Also, the liquor store was closed on Valentine’s Day due to the snow. I doubt the privately run businesses in New Jersey and Delaware closed shop on a huge holiday because of some unfavorable weather. We’ve got a lot of work to do PA and it should start with privatizing the state’s liquor industry.

Professor Steve Phipps pours champagne at the wine tasting preceptorial in 2004. (Geoff Robinson/DP)

Each semester since I arrived at Penn, I have tried to take a preceptorial. But I’ve still never been to a preceptorial.

I’ve come to learn that the preceptorial system is ludicrous. Here’s why:

This semester, my final semester at Penn, I am particularly irate. Many of my close friends and I signed up for the wine tasting preceptorial. And boy was I excited when I registered on Penn in Touch and the course appeared on my schedule.

But yesterday, I received and email from the preceptorial committee informing that I was on the waitlist for the course.

Yup, I was PO’d when I got this. My housemates were also waitlisted.

College senior Mandeep Kalra, head of the preceptorial committee told me in an email interview that that there were 20 spots available in this preceptorial for the 900 people who signed up. This means that there are 880 people on the waitlist. That translates into 880 pissed off seniors, about 1/3 of the class!

But budget constraints don’t necessarily limit the number of students able to enroll in preceptorials. According to Mandeep, the budget for this year was $20,000 and will hopefully increase in the future.

What irritates me even more than the fact that I didn’t get into the class is that Penn In Touch didn’t tell me that the class was full. All semester I planned to spend my Wednesdays in March sipping wine (during spring break for starters, and continuing upon return to Penn. Registration for preceptorials should operate like regular registration — you should find out immediately whether the class is full or not.

Maybe we shouldn’t all be bitter- there’s still room in the knitting preceptorial for any interested parties.

A small memorial to Anna Nicole Smith sits against a tree Sunday, Feb. 11, 2007 in Dania Beach, Fla. in front of the Broward County Medical Examiner’s office where her body is kept as lawsuits continue. (AP Photo/J. Pat Carter)

Anna Nicole Smith is dead. OK– I said it. And now, I’ve moved on. Yes, she was wealthy. But other wealthy people died yesterday too — people who have contributed much more to society (particularly our local one). One person whom I’ve come to respect and admire after reading his obituary is John R.H. Thouron. He created a scholarship that has allowed more than 700 Penn students and British students to study in each others’ country for free. And, yes, I applied for (and was subsequently rejected from) receiving the scholarship that bears his name. Thouron’s contributions to the University of Pennsylvania community are amazing — and though Sir John Thouron outlived his son by a year, their legacy will surely live on through the discourses created between American and British students for years and years down the road.

Vintage corduroy Penn hat that arrived via the Salvation Army: Priceless.

The coolest item of clothing I own is my 1970s style corduroy vintage Penn hat. I love it. I love it like a mother loves her newborn. And quite frankly, it’s the only item of clothing that I’ve been given serious (rather than sarcastic) compliments about in the past 10 years.

Once a kid offered me $100 for it. And I said, “No way, Jose!” My prized possession was perchased for $0.75 at the Salvation Army many moons ago — many moons before I even thought about applying to colleges — many moons before I knew what the P even stood for.

Penn kind of sells one “vintage” sweatshirt at the bookstore — I think they should sell more. My parents didn’t go to Penn, and the only other (few) people I know with vintage Penn gear are alumni kids. The rest of us need some apparel loving too! Come on Bookstore, do it for all of us and make some money too! Some friends tell me the “vintage” era is coming to an end but why not have Penn Basketball whip out some throwback jerseys from the glory years. Maybe the retro jerseys will inspire some magic this March.

Barbaro, jockey Edgar Prado up, wins the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Ky., in this May 6, 2006 file photo. Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized Monday, Jan. 29, 2007, after complications from his breakdown at the Preakness last May. (AP Photo/Al Behrman)

The Associated Press reported this morning that Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized according to one of the horse’s co-owners.

So you mean the 6957838739409505 news alerts I received every time this horse coughed or had a doctor’s appointment weren’t necessary? Jeeeeeeeez!

As of one hour ago, USA Today reported on the horse’s condition. I think it’s inappropriate that America cares so much about the fate of a horse when people (humans), a much higher form of life (in my opinion) are dying of AIDS, cancer, and at war. Not to mention how many people die in car accidents every day. Yet, the mainstream media has decided it is BREAKING NEWS every time this little horse gets his hoof dressed or needs another pin in his leg. I can only hope that if I ever get sick I’d get 1/1000000th of the coverage.

Priorities people, we must have priorities. And you know what, the health of a single horse shouldn’t be one of them — especially when as ESPN reports — a massive virus is destroying the fishing industry in the Great Lakes, certainly a bigger tragedy for the animal world, not to mention to humanity.

Why is it that Asian nations are so far ahead of us in technology and ideas?

They brought us the Toyota Prius and the Nintendo
Wii. But, their progressive stance on tutoring is really making me want to take a vacation to Asia this summer.

Many of us have had tutors at some point in our lives. I admittedly had them for the SATs and for math class in 8th grade. However, they were all middle-aged men. In the day and age where people will pay anything — anything – to get their kids into a good school, you’d think the trend of hiring physically attractive (and smart) teachers of both genders would have caught on by now to give kids some incentive to get reach for the stars.

Last week when my friend brought home a reusable ice luge
from Urban Outfitters, I couldn’t stop singing the praises the company founded by Penn alums that opened its doors for the first time in at 43rd and Locust in the 1970s.

But, only days after I was the store’s biggest fan, I began to question their agenda. Yesterday, I learned that the chain store was selling keffiehs as anti-war symbols.

But I, don’t see these Arab scarves as anti-war symbols. What possessed Urban Outfitters to use the keffieh as an anti-war symbol is beyond me.

So today, I went into Urban Outfitters to find out what patrons and store management at our local 36th and Sansom branch felt about the issue. And quite quickly, I learned from the managers (who would not speak with me officially) that the offensive scarves have been removed from the store.

My calls to Urban’s corporate PR department were not returned.

And this isn’t Urban’s first social faux-pas . Last Christmas, Urban Outfitters sold gun shaped Christmas ornament.

Do I think a boycott of the store is an answer? Not really, based on the success of the ice luge this weekend. But do I think Urban Outfitters needs to think a little more about the impact of their design, marketing, and sales decisions.

I was walking to lunch past HUP the other day without a worry in the world. I had survived my first class of the year and I was a second semester senior.

As I was about to cross the HUP Driveway at 36th and Spruce, I noticed something funky - and by funky I mean morbid. A van blocked my path. But this was no food delivery van, nor a 1-800-Flowers van, nor was it Scooby Doo’s “Mystery Machine.” This vehicle was a hearse disguised as a loading van. And when I walked by, I saw the driver loading a dead body into the vehicle.

While the body was covered in a red tarp, this loading location was completely inappropriate. Dozens of other students and hospital workers could clearly see the outline of the stiffened, lifeless body. While nobody threw up on the spot, I wouldn’t be surprised if many did shortly after.

HUP should only allow hearse drivers to load bodies immediately next to the building so the whole world isn’t exposed to such nastiness while simply going about our daily lives.

During finals week, I ran laps around floors three, four, and five of Van Pelt in search of my very own study carrel. Each time I thought I saw an open cube, I ventured closer to The Promised Land of Van Pelt real estate. But, as I would hover over my new prospective carrel, I became discouraged, as I would find:

A. A half finished cup of Starbucks with a spiral notebook open on the desk.
B. A couple of closed books about Chinese Literature in the Age of Confucius staring at me.
C. Some leftover Bui’s and a note that reads, “Be back in 15 minutes.”
D. A load of eye makeup and a few pieces of scribbled loose-leaf.
E. An individual catching some Zs on the job.
F. Nothing on the desk, but a sweater draped over the chair with a backpack on the floor.

And there’s only one way to describe these acts: Selfish.

Former Spin columnist Amruta Godbole condoned such practices in her final column of the semester. She wrote, “Leave your books with pride. You know that pre-med who occupies a desk in your favorite study area for weeks at a time, leaving just enough behind to prevent desperate studiers from obtaining a seat? We all agree that guy’s a tool. But if you can’t beat ‘em, you’ve got to join ‘em.”

But I disagree. While it is okay to leave your belongings at a study carrel for a set period of time- say forty-five minutes, around dinner time- some people leave their “stuff” to secure a place in Van Pelt overnight. This is obnoxious, rude, and should be punished.

One day during finals while I was whining about a failed trip to Van Pelt, a friend of mine explained that when he studied abroad in New Zealand his school specifically addressed people who tried to steal study carrels. Put quite simply: they were fined for each half hour they left a study carrel and prevented others from using that carrel.

Penn should actively hire guards to patrol the library for such infractions. Fines still might not discourage all Penn students from needlessly wasting study space, but punishment would likely curb the problem significantly. Such a program would be easy to implement as one guard could likely patrol the whole library. The guard could use equipment similar to that of the Philadelphia Parking Authority to efficiently monitor Van Pelt.

The ability to reserve study carrels in advance (similar to the way group study rooms are reserved) would also alleviate this problem.

I transferred to Penn from the cultural wasteland known as Cornell University. Whenever someone asks me if anything at Cornell is better than Penn, my answer is always the same: The on-campus dining is better, Slope Day concert brings bigger name performers than Spring Fling and, other than that, everything about Penn is better than anything about Cornell.

But yesterday, when I went to pick up a transcript, I realized that wasn’t the case. Penn’s prices for transcripts are ridiculous compared to the cost of transcripts at Cornell, who sends them for free. So, I ordered 10 fresh, crisp transcripts from Cornell yesterday, and they were mailed overnight. Shipping cost: $0.

Cornell is on the other end of the spectrum from Penn, whose prices are abnormally high. To send a transcript overseas from Penn, it costs a whopping $35, whereas Cornell charges nothing for the same service. I understand that there are international shipping costs, but Penn’s price seems extremely high and doesn’t vary based on where you are sending your transcript. Sending a transcript to Montreal should not cost the same as mailing one to Mumbai.

I also wish that there was a service where one could order a transcript in person and avoid paying the ridiculous $12 in-person fee if you are willing to wait 3-5 days for your request to be processed.

Let’s not forget that not everyone can afford to throw around so much money. The high cost of transcripts may prevent students who are tight on cash from applying for additional jobs, internships, summer programs, graduate schools, fellowships or even volunteer opportunities.