Employers look at Facebook and Google you, yadda yadda. It’s an old story. You know it, we do it, DP commenters want the paper to move on.

But if we all know this, why are Penn students so lazy about simple protective steps — and so slow to take advantage of us gullible bosses?

According to one estimate, more than 30,000 Penn students have their profiles open for any alum to browse around. Which we will. Because employers are immoral, awful people. (Unlike undergrads who Facebook freshmen rushing their fraternity, or look up their assigned roommates. But I digress.)

Of course, running scare stories — employers will use the Patriot Act to access Facebook! Your profile will be part of your job application! — is more fun for college newspapers than being frank: plenty of curious employers can’t get to your page unless they try really hard. Many Penn students won’t interview with alums who have Facebook, and a growing number of companies block social networking sites anyway.

But most importantly, there’s a big shift underway: as employees sign up for sites like Facebook and MySpace, embarassing personal details are increasingly accepted (and ignored) in the workplace. Not to mention that seeing revealing Halloween pictures of aging coworkers is a lot scarier than seeing college kids do college things.

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“What aspects of the course could use improvement or change?”

This standard course evaluation question elicited a not-so-standard reply from University of Georgia student Brian Beck, who began with “Joe Disponzio is a complete asshole,” ended with “To hell with all gay teachers who are terrible with their jobs,” and included in the middle some remarks that make South Park look positively PC.

Beck’s brashness, while it certainly won’t win him a spot among my Top Friends, can probably be explained (though not excused) by the fact that course evaluations are — at least ostensibly — completely anonymous. As any stall in a public bathroom will demonstrate, anonymity can unleash the (often stupid) beast within. But anonymity, however scary, should be protected when it’s been promised.

The University of Georgia disagrees.

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A British alum once told me, “If you’ve got an English accent, you’ve got it made, mate!” (”Mate” is English for “dude”.)

For the most part , the accent thing is but an icebreaker. It gets you what I like to call the “deer in headlights” moment. The girl (or guy, for some) will notice the accent, and will have a wow moment. After that, it’s down to the accent holder to use the advantage.

So, part 1 of this series is a list of useful and not-so-useful places for accents (whether you have them or can put them on).

Places where the exotic accent is useful (based on the experiences of yours truly)

1. Random meetings: Waiting for college advisors and see a nice-looking someone? Strike up conversation and let the accent do its work. Obtain number.

2. House parties: ‘Nuff said.

3. Frat parties: If you are a foreign brother - you’ve got it made. If not, then enjoy distracting girls from frat-like juvenile attempts at seduction simply by speaking.

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MIT now releases 90 percent of its coursework material online. Will this be the beginning of the end for college campuses? Though MIT won’t offer degrees online, it seems only a matter of time until other elite institutions decide to.

I applaud MIT for putting the material online. It’s a great service to anyone who needs to learn linear algebra immediately, and by anyone I mean probably one person ever. However, getting an online education is nowhere near as valuable as a real college experience. Sure you learn the material, but think back to the classes you took just two or three years ago. How much of that material do you still remember? I barely even remember the titles of the classes I took freshmen year.

The classroom of the future?

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The deep, dark abyss that is finals week looms ominously in the distance.

The lackadaisical among us may hide in warm beds, watching re-runs of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila“, munching on snacks bought up with excess end-of-the-semester Dining Dollars, while others move into Van Pelt, hibernating in study cubicles, feverishly copying notes and creating outlines.

What to do when those grades don’t turn out as expected? Well, an article published yesterday in The New York Times calls this type of obsession over perfectionism self-destructive and potentially damaging to mental health.

The article states new studies “suggest that perfectionism is a valuable lens through which to understand a variety of seemingly unrelated mental difficulties, from depression to compulsive behavior to addiction.” Oops. So I guess meticulously organizing my flashcards in both chronological and alphabetical order, color coded and labeled, might be an indication that something else is, say … off?

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Over at Cornell, sex ed got taken to a different level with “Anal Sex 101: Everything You Wanted to Know (But Were Afraid to Ask).” The speaker, sex expert Tristan Taormino, was invited by campus groups who had received a large number of questions about anal sex, and the event was funded by several groups as well as the Student Assembly Finance Commission.

Obviously, the College Republicans protested. In fact, they picketed. How could they not? Luckily, they made themselves sound ridiculous in the Cornell Sun.

“We’re protesting the event today because we believe the student activities fee is being used to teach people to engage in a physical act that we believe is not morally right,” said Ahmed Salem ’08, president of the College Republicans. “Our main issue is that even if that’s going to happen, it should not be paid for with our own money.”

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CollegeHumor recently released their power rankings. The index lists which schools are best “for having the maximum amount of fun while putting forth the least amount of effort.”

Not only did Penn not make the list, we were beaten by both Penn State (#1) and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. I barely knew Indiana was a state, let alone that they had their own University of Pennsylvania. (Is it Indiana University of Pennsylvania or The Indiana University of Pennsylvania? - either way it makes no sense and I don’t care.)

Schools were ranked on things like percentage female, bar closing time, and percentage Greek. Penn would do very well in these areas and dominate categories such as closest Taco Bell, freshmen retention rate, and stadium size (so what if it never has people in it?).

The biggest problems Penn has are average SAT scores, concert quality, and number of male vocal groups. We can’t help it that we’re smart, and SPEC has been improving their concert selection. The only way we can climb up this ranking is to ditch the Male Vocal Groups. We have at least six by my count, giving us twice as many as the “lowest scorer” in the Top 50.

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Apparently, those kids offering free Red Bull and other products outside Huntsmen aren’t doing it out of the goodness of their heart. I’m sure this isn’t earth shattering news (though I wonder if it might be more effective to peddle Red Bull outside of DRL — just a thought). I found these two quotes in the article pretty interesting though.

Red Bull is one of a handful of companies that hires students to promote their products at college campuses, and, at Penn, students represent companies ranging from Apple to American Airlines to Playboy.

As a rep for Apple, College senior John Kneeland, a former DP blogger, sets up a booth at Computer Connection to promote Apple products.

Or, as he describes the job: “sit around, look good, use a Mac.”

So if the Mac guy sits around, looking good, using the product, what do you think the Playboy rep does?

General introductory courses here at Penn can be some of the toughest in the curriculum. The “econ scream” is a testament to that. And anyone who has suffered through Chemistry, Biology or Physics 101 will tell you — it wasn’t fun.
These courses are designed to provide students with a broad foundation of knowledge. Classes are large, curves are usually prodigious, and breadth takes precedence over depth.

Some schools are trying to change this. At Cornell, for example, professors have suggested amending the biology curriculum to rid it of large introductory classes and instead offer 5-6 smaller, more specialized classes.

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“Despite this discomfort, I will continue to press on as one of the last beacons of strength and morality. That may sound too pompous for the rather insignificant matter at hand, but courage on any level is hard to find these days. Political correctness, a weakening morality and lack of courage are suffocating our once-great nation.”

Sounds pretty serious … that is, until one realizes this guy is defending his right to scream “NOT GAY.”

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