All this talk of accents led to me keenly analyse what it is that makes accents rule, exactly.

In that light, join me in a thought experiment.

Girls (and guys) imagine a tall, tanned man with aquiline features. Lean, winning smile, the works. Let’s give him an Italian accent and call him… Antonio. Swoon-worthy, n’est-ce pas? If the physical features didn’t do it for you, that accent should certainly tip you over the edge.

Now let’s make him short and fat. His smile isn’t so winning, his face not so tanned. But he retains both his name and his delightful accent. Put beside him an identical-looking short and fat man. He could be Antonio’s twin. Except this man is not called Antonio. He is an American, and he is called Trent. Trent is from Dayton, Ohio and does not sound particularly special.

Now ladies, and some of you gentlemen, if you had to pick only one of these two rotund and vertically challenged men, which one would it be?

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A British alum once told me, “If you’ve got an English accent, you’ve got it made, mate!” (”Mate” is English for “dude”.)

For the most part , the accent thing is but an icebreaker. It gets you what I like to call the “deer in headlights” moment. The girl (or guy, for some) will notice the accent, and will have a wow moment. After that, it’s down to the accent holder to use the advantage.

So, part 1 of this series is a list of useful and not-so-useful places for accents (whether you have them or can put them on).

Places where the exotic accent is useful (based on the experiences of yours truly)

1. Random meetings: Waiting for college advisors and see a nice-looking someone? Strike up conversation and let the accent do its work. Obtain number.

2. House parties: ‘Nuff said.

3. Frat parties: If you are a foreign brother - you’ve got it made. If not, then enjoy distracting girls from frat-like juvenile attempts at seduction simply by speaking.

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