If you care to hear another college student’s opinion on the upcoming election (you don’t, be honest), here it is.

Let’s face it, with all the hooplah surrounding political endorsements these days, you Americans have been neglecting one of the most important endorsements of all time. Who cares that Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, and 50 Cent back Obama, and that Stephen Baldwin, Sylvester Stallone, and Curt Schilling support McCain? What aboot the opinion of the Canadians, eh? How come you haven’t asked for our endorsement? Shame on you!

(Seriously, if you would listen to us, we may, in exchange, give you a glimpse of all the foreign policy secrets that we have learned by being closer to Russia than 49 of the 50 US states.)

Great, now that I have your attention, here we go: I declare on behalf of all Canadians, I (we) endorse Sarah Palin, the vice-presidential candidate of the GOP.

Why?

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Dear white people: I like you guys.

Seriously, in high school, I was made fun of by the other Asian kids for having no Asian friends. I don’t know why, but it sure wasn’t because of a meager talent pool; I hail from Vancouver, BC, which, according to some sources, is 30% Asian. But I digress.

As much as I like you guys, I’ve come to realize that sometimes I really feel sorry for you. I most recently had this revelation as I strolled through (okay, elbowed through at a sloth’s pace) the NSO Activities Fair on Tuesday.

Bombarded with pamphlets (I guess I look young) and later, out of curiosity, browsing through the OSL Cultural and Support Organization list, I was elated that I, at this moment, technically have the option of joining the Asian Student Union, Asian Pacific Student Coalition, Canadians at Penn, and the Korean Student Association. In fact, if you are a minority student, you are free to dabble in the veritable potpourri of Penn’s available cultural groups.

But what do you have if you’re one of them simple, good ol’ WASP-y American types?

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