It’s that time of year again. Sometime between the relaxation of spring break and the all-consuming fun of finals, we get Mental Health Awareness Week, brought to you by Penn’s own Active Minds. (Full disclosure: I get regularly spammed by their listserv. I’m not really sure why.)

While they have actual events planned to help you learn to cope with stress, I thought I’d share a few tried-and-true methods from a nonprofessional with no real claims to mental stability.

1. Glare at someone. I recommend anyone serving food at Commons. As Philadelphia has apparently outlawed smiling in the service industry, you might as well take out your annoyance on someone who hates you anyway.

2. Exercise. Nontraditional options include running from muggers, improving your upper body strength by holding your door shut, or taking self-defense classes. Do it the Penn way.

3. Eat right. Food pyramid be damned. Stress eating doesn’t involve anything green. Hit up the brown and the red instead. Spring florals will disguise any unflattering side effects, and a chocolate eclair will make you forget all about whatever you’re supposed to be doing.

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