Embarrassing but true: before this weekend I had never been to Koch’s, the tiny take-out deli located at 43rd and Locust. That means I never met Bobby Koch, the popular owner of the store, who passed away a couple of years ago.

If my belated exposure to Koch’s has any upside, it’s that my inexperience has allowed me to formulate a totally unbiased opinion, one untarnished by loyalties or nostalgia.

The verdict? Koch’s is overrated. Prices are ridiculous: my Restaurant School Special cost me $9.35. And the wait is even worse. People should stand an hour in line for Splash Mountain, not for reubens.

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Thar be treasure all ’round, if ye know where to look.

Why, I found a treasure chest just in the bakery section of the oft-maligned Fresh Grocer:

Go around the country and order a “Philly” cheesesteak. Very few places can even come close, and the number one shortcoming is in the roll. It doesn’t seem like it would be so hard to replicate, but the taste of these mockeries proves otherwise. Have these people even been to Philadelphia?

So for just 50 cents you can have the envy of the nation. Mmm mmm, there’s nothing I like better than getting me some steak and onion and cheese to go with them and frying up some local pride.

I was walking down to DRL from the Drexel trolley stop the other day when my heart leapt at the sight of a food truck:

Burgers, shakes, fries — and more! As if I need anything more! It was love at first sight.

Imagine my dismay when, like Jacob with Leah, I beheld my would-be bride with full clarity:

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