Today is the last day of March, which means a few things. First, it shouldn’t be 45 degrees and raining. Second, tomorrow is April Fool’s Day — so try to remember that spaghetti, like money, doesn’t just grow on trees. And third, we’re just two short weeks away from Spring Fling. By then, we should all be done with midterms and relaxed enough to enjoy ourselves — and it might even be 50 degrees outside.

But not everyone is über-excited about the prospect of fun and festivities at this year’s Spring Fling. Perhaps you like all your hos in the same area code and therefore aren’t stoked about SPEC’s music selection. Or maybe you’re so exhausted from a month of perfunctory bag checks that the idea of amusement seems unfathomable. It’s even possible that you’re a “good person” who doesn’t engage in rampant partying or otherwise questionable behavior.

Whatever the case may be, many of you have valid reasons not to be thrilled about the weekend of April 11th. So just as Penn offers alternative Spring breaks — for those more concerned with helping people build homes than helping people get home at 3 a.m. — I’ve compiled a short list of substitute activities that might be more suitable for this year’s non-Spring Flinger.

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