So it has been brought to my attention that, in fact, we are a bunch of nerds. And, as usual, I blame Princeton.

For it was they who hosted a team from Middlebury playing Quidditch. Oh yes, Quidditch. I don’t care if we hosted them first, I still blame them, mainly to avoid despairing at our own sheer idiocy. Thankfully Ivygate blames them, too.

For those of you not cool enough to know, Quidditch is the game of the wizarding world, as described in the Harry Potter novels.

The game involves flying around on broomsticks with three different kinds of balls - one type (the Quaffle) to throw through hoops, one type (the Bludger) that renders you unconscious and the Golden Snitch, a tiny little ball that whizzes around, the capture of which ends the game and earns you 150 points (usually winning you the match). The rules are important for what comes next.

In the Middlebury version, the Snitch is played by a “hyperactive college student” in a yellow jersey, sporting a sock from his behind in the hope someone grabs it and ends the game. I think he’s also asking for feel-up, but that’s just me talking. I mean, kid, what the hell is wrong with you? You are not a Snitch, you’re an idiot hoping no one catches the sock flapping invitingly in the region of your arse.

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