CollegeHumor recently released their power rankings. The index lists which schools are best “for having the maximum amount of fun while putting forth the least amount of effort.”

Not only did Penn not make the list, we were beaten by both Penn State (#1) and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. I barely knew Indiana was a state, let alone that they had their own University of Pennsylvania. (Is it Indiana University of Pennsylvania or The Indiana University of Pennsylvania? - either way it makes no sense and I don’t care.)

Schools were ranked on things like percentage female, bar closing time, and percentage Greek. Penn would do very well in these areas and dominate categories such as closest Taco Bell, freshmen retention rate, and stadium size (so what if it never has people in it?).

The biggest problems Penn has are average SAT scores, concert quality, and number of male vocal groups. We can’t help it that we’re smart, and SPEC has been improving their concert selection. The only way we can climb up this ranking is to ditch the Male Vocal Groups. We have at least six by my count, giving us twice as many as the “lowest scorer” in the Top 50.

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