Maybe you’re a freshman, or maybe you’ve got your own printer. But if not, then you surely know that Penn has raised the cost of printing from 5 cents to 8 cents per page. And if you frequent the Weiss Tech House, which offers free printing, you know that they’ve placed ridiculous restrictions on how many pages you can print.

I don’t know what you call a 60% hike in printing costs and fewer free options, but I call it some bullshit.

Guy Fawkes said, “desperate times call for desperate measures,” and I took that aphorism to heart last semester. After some bribes, some pulled strings, and some 1337 hax0ring, I now have unlimited free printing — in black and white and in color.

“How?” you ask me. “Where?” Ah, faithful reader, wouldn’t you like to know. I’m a second-semester senior, but I still have some printing in me yet. I wouldn’t want to share my privilege with you at the cost of having The Man take it away. Perhaps the day will come when I think to myself, “fudge it all to heck” and tell the world my little secret. Perhaps they’ll make a movie about the chaos that ensues and cast Nicolas Cage as me.

Until then, enjoy the annoying card-swiping and the perpetually low toner that define Penn’s printing service.