Dear Penn Community,

As your Supreme Commander and new member of mayor-elect Michael Nutter’s transition team, I wanted to explain how Penn will contribute to this new administration. This list is not exhaustive. But it should give you a feel about who will be representing Penn in Nutter’s administration in the coming years.

Chairman of the ‘Philicon’ Valley Commission — Ryan Goldstein

Don’t think Philadelphia’s got the goods to be the next high-tech hot spot? Then you haven’t met Ryan Goldstein! Only a junior at Penn and already forging global computing cooperation, reaching out to the internet’s best and brightest, and still passing “Ethics and Social Responsibility for Engineers.” He will make AKILL-er appointment.

Deputy Mayor of “Safety” Initiatives — Rafael Robb

If I could describe this former economics professor in one word, it would be “honest“. With “hardly” a blemish to his name, he’s got the best plan to lead this city to “security.” Toe the line “Killadelphia,” or you might get Robb-ed!

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Now-former Penn economics professor Rafael Robb has pled guilty to killing his wife, Ellen, in a crime of passion in their Upper Merion home, and now faces up to 20 years in prison. Despite the setback, however, Robb promises his students won’t be left in the dust.

“We have a lot of ground to cover next semester, and this small hiccup won’t interfere with my plans for the curriculum,” Robb stated in a recent interview.

Even though Penn immediately called for his resignation, he says he refuses to be separated from his first and only real love: economics. He encourages students to sign up for his new class next semester: ECON 146, “Game Theory in the Contemporary American Justice System,” which will be entirely podcast via iTunesU.

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