Yesterday I saw a girl. I did a double take, and then I grilled her. I figured that she was wearing a bright orange miniskirt and a blue cutoff halter because she’s a pledge. No one would wear that by choice.

Speaking of, today marks the end of “hell week.” I’m not even pledging and I’ll breathe a sigh of relief. I’m just disgusted by the entire pledging process. It’s uncomfortable.

I’ve seen a large man wearing cutoff shorts and a pink paperboy hat. I’ve seen Tabards cry; we’ve all seen them “lounging” on tarp on College Green. I’ve witnessed a really pretty preppy boy with a box tapped to his back. His task was to carry sandwiches from Gia (metro frat…) and blush all the way home.

A few days ago, SAE pledges were standing on a ledge and screaming a song about “dick sucking.” They yelled in my ear as a friend and I passed by. Please boys, bitch about your life devoid of blowjobs in private. I see you in your ill-fitting blazers, khakis, and loafers, and the last thing I want is your penis near me.

(more…)